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From the author: Trusting the world or, more precisely, trusting the situation is the ability to be in contact with oneself and others, to be truly present. Otherwise, the natural ability to adapt is hampered by excessive stress and incessant reflection, as an attempt by the consciousness to control what is happening. At some point, the psyche was vulnerable and (or) other people encroached on the boundaries of the individual. At the same time, for some reason, there was no way to fight back or change the vulnerable position. The state of vulnerability has become permanent, and, despite the fact that the situation has already changed and does not require stress, the psyche is instantly ready to defend itself. This is similar to the mechanism of psychological trauma, but is broader and less focused on a single event. For example, some people who have experienced food insecurity continue to experience anxiety on a daily basis, which negatively affects their self-regulation and ability to enjoy food. Any stressful situation can cause an interruption in the natural interaction of the body with its environment. In order to relax and restore contact, you need to concentrate on what is really happening around you, as well as work out the possible causes of tension. I offer several topics for reflection/meditation designed to restore a sense of security and ability to control your actions in everyday life and in difficult psychological situations. Tension does not help cope with the situation. Difficult situations require maximum activation of a person’s abilities, while permanent tension only impedes the ability to concentrate. Maximum concentration is possible from a state of calm. Look at cats - in an instant they can go from a state of complete relaxation to combat readiness. You can only control a situation that includes both external circumstances and your state. This thesis is not about an external locus of control, when a person places responsibility for his actions on others, but about asserting the ability to control himself within his own boundaries. Imagine that the worst has already happened, that you are constrained by conditions as much as possible - even in this case, you have the opportunity to remain yourself and manage your own life. This rule is universal in its entirety - it is impossible to humiliate a person who refuses to be humiliated. It also eliminates retroreflection, because you remain in contact and adequately distribute responsibility between yourself and the circumstances. Don't be afraid to express negative feelings. Aggression designed to protect one’s borders is absolutely natural and necessary for a normal presence in the world. Designating your boundaries and not allowing others to cross them without permission is the key to normal relationships and your mental health. The first rule is that you must act within your boundaries. The response should expel the intruder from your territory, but there is no need to encroach on its integrity in response. The second rule is that you need to react immediately. Trying to deal with the situation after the fact will be perceived by others as an intrusion. Do not project your emotions onto other people. Often, when we feel disgusted by one of our characteristics, we are convinced that other people perceive it the same way. Even if you are unable to accept any part of yourself, it is not at all necessary that this will be a problem for others. By projecting your attitude onto others, you put yourself in a vulnerable and painful state in advance, without giving you a chance to find out what they really think about you. Don’t underestimate yourself - you are quite capable, being a lively and interesting person, of convincing others of your own worthlessness. Also with aggression - by depriving yourself of these emotions, you fill your model of reality with them, in advance endowing everyone with aggressive traits and the desire to cause you harm. Without allowing your own aggression, you are unable to protect yourself and therefore are forced to constantly experience fear. Contact.