On the forum I saw a question from a young woman: “What to do if friends and relatives go over to the enemy’s camp without declaring war?” At the same time, she herself does not do anything bad to them, does not make troubles or pour nasty things on them... And the process of leaving a relationship with her continues... What could be the matter? Of course, within the framework of the article, it will not be possible to give a definite answer to a woman, but look solutions are possible. This is what I propose to do now. Firstly, in the current circumstances, it is worth thinking about whether a person too often speculates, speculates for others? Isn’t it better, when misunderstandings, understatements, or incomprehensible actions arise, to invite the other to openly discuss together the reasons for this? How to help yourself stop worrying and “winding yourself up”? Secondly, it would be a good idea to check the state of your personal boundaries. No, this does not mean protecting yourself from everyone and everything, it means acquiring the ability to understand yourself and others’ requests for your resources and expectations, taking into account your desire or unwillingness to reciprocate at the moment or clearly tell him “no, I have other plans today.” ", etc. More about this in the article “Learn to refuse others in order to protect your self-worth”, as well as in the article “Hear yourself, hear..." 4 first steps towards yourself Thirdly, today I want to tell to you about another important practical way of repairing “unsettled” relationships. Choose a person with whom you have recently found it difficult to get close, who has deceived you about something, who makes you angry... This could be a husband, mother-in-law, girlfriend, co-worker, etc. etc. This makes you nervous, worried that you cannot return to your previous good relationship. Important: do not try to sort things out with him while you think that it does not make sense, that you can do without this contact. Do not make such attempts yet. Smarter do it for a week, at least every day, spending only 3-5 minutes on it, one helping technique. In a notebook, write down every day the positive traits and actions of the person with whom you want to establish a relationship. Notice and note even the little things: clothes, voice, looks, gestures. At first, the task may seem unnatural to you, it may even cause you resistance... But try to do it in the name of restoring your good relationship with this person. After all, this could be a loved one. Every day you will notice that the person will irritate you less and less, and recording the “pluses” will set you up to improve relationships with more people. The condition for a positive result is your own desire to return to good relationships .What methods do you use to revive faltering relationships? If a difficulty has appeared in your life that is difficult to cope with on your own, come to a psychologist for help. Together it’s easier and faster! It’s easy to sign up for my consultation: write a message by phone 89170252242 (Whatsapp, Telegram) or sign up here on the B17 website. All the best! Sincerely, psychologist Natalia Fomina