"Why does a person become like this?" Or “Instructions for parents who want to develop this type of behavior in their children.” You must not accept the child’s feelings. Do not contain, do not tell the child about his emotions, do not pronounce the names of his states, do not let him experience them and do not advise how to get rid of them most effectively and environmentally for yourself and others. Tell the child more often that something is wrong with him that he is bad if he feels what he feels. Instill in your child: “It’s shameful to feel, let alone express, your emotions.” That is, shame is the basis for the formation of this type of personality https://www.b17.ru/article/363773/. And then it becomes an integral part of the image https://www.b17.ru/article/364669/. Allow as little bodily contact as possible. Let the child understand that he is valuable only when he does something. Notice him only when he performs necessary functions, tasks, as if instilling: “If you do something hard, then you have the right to exist and take a place in the sun.” It is necessary that the parent himself strives for the “ideal.” The child must see how ideal others are and with the thought: “I will never grow up to them”, having matured, surround himself with ideal people, based on his subjective opinion, suffer from his worthlessness, while outwardly showing arrogance or even wanting to somewhat humiliate others. Having noticed some non-ideal features in the company of acquaintances, a person of the narcissistic type may begin to look for another ideal company in order to maintain the already familiar state of shame and insignificance. A parent should not admit his mistakes, apologize for them, or reconsider his behavior. A parent should not accept a child this way , what he is. It is important to instill in him that he always does something wrong, in comparison with other children, he should always do something better. If a parent decides to praise a child, then it is always necessary to do this with some reservations: “You did well, but...” If there is a separation of parents, one of them must contact the child as little as possible so that the baby has the thought: “If he the parent does not contact me, I am not good enough for him, I am not worthy of his attention." You cannot discuss with your child the reason for quarrels or divorce, separation of parents, or the true reasons for the child’s infrequent meetings with one of the parents, and even more so, talking about his emotions is prohibited and fears associated with these events. It is important to set the highest possible standards for children that parents were once unable to achieve. A parent, having his own narcissistic manifestations, is obliged to spread this phenomenon through urging his children not to be themselves, to express themselves exclusively in the way as others want. The parent must convey to the child the thoughts: “They will love you only if you show up correctly. But you will be worthy of this love only when you are ideal and comfortable. And you should always be better than you are and than everyone else. You must always achieve something more and only then will you have the right to exist." https://www.b17.ru/article/364586/ At the same time, it is important to remind you of the ban on emotions https://www.b17.ru/ article/364398/, so that a person then becomes more and more marked by retroflection and dependence in relationships, up to abusive behavior, depression. It is important to constantly criticize the child, so that later, as he grows up, his Inner Critical Parent dominates both the Inner Caring Parent and the conscious Adult and especially over Internal Adaptive and Free children. Your voice and words of doubt about the child’s success should forever be preserved in his memory and his Inner Critic should speak with your voice. What other points can be added to the list? You can subscribe to my publications here Why did I become a psychologist? Crisis, clinical, family, perinatal psychologist, coach, business consultant. Integrative approach - a combination of many approaches, including CBT, transactional.. 89873797639