The ability to win over your interlocutor (inspire trust) and maintain a trusting relationship is the most important skill for a fulfilling life and a successful career. The degree to which your interlocutor will like you depends on 3 basic principles, which he reads consciously and unconsciously: 1. Similarity. “I like strawberries, but fish like worms. Therefore, when I go fishing, I take worms, not strawberries.” D. Carnegie The human (or animal) psyche is formed according to the following principles: 1) At the biological level: - “safer is the one who is more like me or safe in my opinion” (need for safety ); - energy saving, because with “like” it is easier and you spend less energy on communication; 2) At the social level - look for people like yourself (the need to belong to a community/pack, and, if possible, to recognition). The impression is formed: - by 20-40% - content ( verbally, what he says / does / looks like); - 60-80% - form (not verbally, what he says / does / looks like). As a rule, the share of the factor “similarity in content” in the business environment is higher than in everyday life. Tool for creating “Similarity” - Adjustment. Types of adjustments: 1) tempo and breathing; 2) vocabulary and terminology; 3) posture and gestures; 4) appearance; 5) values ​​and interests;...Working out. In everyday life, 1-2 types per day. While observing the interlocutor, we unobtrusively copy and reproduce the parameter being worked on (“mirroring” to a level that is comfortable for us). First, you consciously concentrate your attention and gradually “implant” it, forming a habit. If it works well, we move on to the next type. Then we do it together, adding another type as it gets “implanted.” For example: - day 1, I work on 1) adjustment to tempo (rhythm of speech, gestures, motor skills) and breathing (depth, intensity); - day 2, I work on 2); - day 3, I work on 1) + 2); - then 3), etc.! Adjusting “by appearance” means that it is adequate to the interlocutor’s picture of the world as he is - it is not necessary (especially if the interlocutor is a woman). For example, in the office - business style or Casual, at a picnic - sports or hiking,... 2. Friendliness (“I’m ok, you’re ok”) “When I see that people don’t smile at me, I start smiling and tell them “ “hello” and as if by magic, more smiling people appear around me. It turns out that the world reflects you like a mirror.” Robert Kiyosaki Creation tools: 1) Preliminary “positive” attitude. Option – trying on the image of a familiar, friendly person. Remember it in detail and “get used to it”. 2) External signs - facial expressions, gestures, speech,... Work with a specialist. 3) “Attentive listener” position - without interruptions and distractions, moderate signs of attention (nods, “yes”,.. ). Moreover, allowing oneself to be interrupted where permissible. 4) Moderate complements. Complement – ​​emphasizes what is, flattery – a strong exaggeration and/or fiction. Flattery and ingratiation are conflictogens, because elements of gross manipulation. ! Goodwill should look natural, without pretense. Excesses of “positivity” are alarming and repulsive, creating the impression of salesmanship and manipulation to “increase self-esteem.” 3. Confidence Creation tools: 1) The state of “I want, but I don’t need.” Set yourself up in advance, determine “what will I do if I don’t reach an agreement?” Plan “B”. 2) Confident – ​​postures, facial expressions, gestures, speech,... Open posture, moderately imposing position in space, clear, slow speech, eye contact “on equal terms”. 3) Prepare in advance - questions to the opponent in his “picture of the world” and answers to probable questions (especially on “sharp corners”). 4) Do not be fooled by provocations, remain correct, but also do not allow the boundaries of decency to be crossed. If the interlocutor goes beyond them, then you can stop him diplomatically, for example: - I.I., you are trying to manipulate me, let’s focus on the topic of discussion; - I.I., I will be happy to answer your other questions, but now it is important to discuss...; ...Work with a specialist.B/