PEOPLE ARE NOT CREATED EQUAL. SEARCH FOR UNIQUE ANSWERS FOR YOURSELF. It amazes me that most people continue to experience unbearable emotional stress, end relationships, get stuck and do not seek professional help. Life-changing decisions, such as breaking up or starting a relationship, or career changes will most likely significantly affect the rest of your life. However, statistics show that a minority of people turn to consultants at such times. WHAT GUARANTEES DOES A CONSULTANT GIVE? The truth is, there is no guarantee that your situation will improve. In fact, many people told me that training and psychology did not help them. Most professionals have the best intentions, but are not always qualified to help you resolve your specific issue. That's why I want to give you some recommendations if you decide to seek help from a consultant. Make sure that your consultant has the appropriate education and experience in the field of interest to you. Often, psychologists position themselves as a generalist and work with children, couples, health and career issues. However, it is impossible to be an equally good specialist in such different fields. A specialist in family therapy has different skills than a specialist in personal counseling; a trainer differs from a psychologist who works individually. Different techniques and areas of psychotherapy solve different issues. A psychologist may be very skilled at working with a client's feelings, but not work with family conflicts. For this reason, do not hesitate to ask your consultant about his professional training and experience. Make sure that your consultant is open-minded about your problem and does not impose his own experience on you. He does not help you destroy your marriage when there is still hope that the relationship will improve, because he himself is divorced. A professional consultant helps the client figure it out on his own and find the only solution that is right for you. Feel free to ask the psychologist how he feels about the issue being discussed. His answer will explain a lot to you. You should feel comfortable in the consultation and receive support and respect. You need to feel that he or she understands your values ​​and feelings. If your advisor takes your spouse's position or completely takes your position against someone else, it is not good. No one should be the enemy, whether they are in the room or not. If you feel pressure from the consultant about the pace of your changes, say so. If nothing changes, leave. The counselor's own knowledge about the relationship certainly plays a role in counseling. However, there are many options for building relationships and ways out of conflicts. If your psychologist insists on one thing, look for another. Some people think that the counselor might say, “You are incompatible and your relationship is over,” “Why are you putting up with this?” or “It’s time to move on and get on with your life.” At this point they instill their own values ​​in you. This is unethical. Only you know when and what to choose. Make sure you and your consultant set specific goals during your initial consultations. If you haven't done this, you'll be heading in an uncertain direction every week. Once you have set your goals, you should never lose sight of them. If you don't see progress within two to three weeks, ask a counselor. I believe that in times of crisis we don't have the luxury of focusing on past events and the origins of childhood traumatic experiences. If your consultant focuses on the past, suggest focusing on the future. If he doesn't, find a counselor who will. Know that most problems can be solved. Don't let your therapist tell you that change is impossible. In family relationships, people are capable of creating miracles and performing very beautiful deeds.!