Life burned my lips, bursting into me as I inhaled. I froze in a mixture of horror and excitement. Not fire or water, lava - I tried to inhale it and couldn’t. Everything from inside instantly shrank tightly and life, barely touching me, flowed along the very surface of the respiratory tract. But sometimes, this lava outside turned out to be so persistent and passionate that this unbearable lattice, which did not allow breathing, opened and then, oh, then the shoulders relaxed, the lips unclenched, covering the teeth clenched to the point of unbearability, the arms and legs became light and strong. The woman blossomed and began her movement. But the stomach... this spring weakened, and for a moment it became light and free, a pleasant tickling inside pleased and embarrassed, breathing became so easy, my head was already spinning. But in place of this joyful and exciting lightness, somewhere from the very bottom, an eerie, black, howling and cold emptiness was revealed. It was unbearable to endure this feeling and then... immediately shut it up, fill it to the brim, so as not to feel this horror, not to breathe... These unbearable attacks of wolf hunger, which endure when nothing can be controlled and you throw everything into yourself as long as you have that or until at least something fits...To the point where it is no longer possible to breathe. I also managed to try this method of coping with reviving feelings. Outwardly nothing terrible is happening in the here and now, but inside there is so much unhappiness. It is almost impossible to withstand. Compulsive overeating is an eating disorder that forces you to overeat quickly and greedily, to the point of oversaturation. Characterized by loss of control over the food eaten. Diagnostic criteria: Consumption of a large amount of food at one time. Feeling of loss of control over food intake. The person is unable to control the amount or what kind of food he eats. Behavioral symptoms: High rate of eating. Stopping eating only after the onset of satiety. Overeating in the absence of hunger. Episode always alone. Feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself. Marked distress after the episode: sadness , hopelessness, apathy, fears, anxieties. Frequent and repeated episodes of gluttony (at least 2 times a week for six months). During the episode, there is no regular, maladaptive compensatory behavior. The root cause of this way a person copes with difficult experiences: the mechanism of depression (which creates own insensitivity at the border of contact with anything and anyone) and traumatic early childhood experiences. This can be trauma of loss, trauma of abuse (physical, emotional or sexual) and developmental trauma (presented through depression). The depressive mechanism of interaction with the world (stopped movement towards) is superimposed by traumatic experience. With this method, depression is still not at such a deep level as with anorexia and bulimia; here I will not consider the root causes of the depressive mechanism. Let me just say that I feel very blocked. I will also describe the features of working with various traumas of violence in this topic in a separate article. The way of interaction with the environment for such people: the need to be filled by the environment, because there is emptiness inside, plus the feeling of self is blocked by the presence of another. The phenomenon of emptiness is the refusal to feel. There are blind spots in Personality. Emotional experiences of such a person: shame, loneliness, cold, melancholy. And a passionate desire to fill this hole. Here and now, events occur in a person’s life that revive his early unlived traumatic experience. Every time before an attack there is a readiness to face some kind of experience, but suddenly I recognize something about myself, anxiety grows. A wave of excitement, a wave of this energy of the whole organism, almost ready to finally experience some feelings, is interrupted by the most terrible anxiety. Food is a good way to reduce it, but then again nothing will be learned about emptiness. For such a person, the relationship with food is important, not with excess.