In this article I will talk about how to help yourself during the grieving process so that it is least painful and, perhaps, even fruitful. Unload your body and psyche. If possible, reduce your workload at work and at home, delegate, and ask for help. Avoid reading too complex (for example, scientific) literature. Be sure to get enough sleep! If you have insomnia, try aromatherapy and relaxation techniques, and mild over-the-counter sedatives. If this does not solve the problem, contact a neurologist or psychiatrist so that he can select a drug for you. Provide yourself with maximum physical comfort. Organize your workplace and rest areas so that you are comfortable so that your body does not experience stress. It’s good if you have the opportunity to get a massage, go to the pool, or spa. It is advisable to spend a lot of time in the fresh air (preferably in nature). Create yourself maximum psychological comfort. Protect yourself from a large flow of information, disturbing news, communication with people you don’t like, as well as those who urge you to “hold on,” “don’t cry,” etc. If at least something gives you joy and pleasure now, be sure to do it. Seek support from those you trust. You need to speak out, express your feelings. Don't go into isolation! Support in this case means listening to you and, perhaps, sharing your feelings, or just being close and hugging. But don’t say that “everything will be fine”, “you need to unwind”, etc. If there are no people nearby who can provide such support, you can call a helpline or find self-help groups. For example, ACA. Such groups exist online and offline. You can also contact a psychologist or psychotherapist. Live through the attacks of grief consciously. As a rule, when grieving, feelings come in waves - a period of relative calm is followed by periods of strong emotions. When feelings come, allow yourself to feel and express them. Once you have privacy, you can talk out loud about how you feel, swear or cry, hit a pillow or twist a towel. You can talk to the person you are grieving for (it doesn’t matter whether it’s a breakup or death). Tell him how bad you feel without him, or how angry you are with him, or that you feel guilty, as well as everything that you want to tell him at the moment. Perhaps you are angry with God or someone else, because of whom you think this misfortune happened. You can write by hand (not type) if you cannot express your feelings out loud. Give yourself permission to show your vulnerability. If feelings overtake you in an inappropriate environment, do everything possible to express them somehow - go cry in the toilet or cry right where you are - you have the right to do so. Gain access to blocked feelings. If instead of strong feelings you experience apathy and it seems to you that you feel nothing, most likely this means that you have feelings, but you simply are not aware of them. This is how the psyche protects itself from difficult experiences. This is normal in the early stages of grief, but if the feelings do not come later, then you should help yourself access them, because... blocked feelings can further result in somatic symptoms and mental disorders. To do this, you can use various bodily practices. For example, Lowen's bioenergetic exercises or voice practices. Perhaps just deep breathing will help you. Give yourself time during the day to process grief, when you consciously connect with your feelings. Be creative. It promotes the experience of feelings and full integration of the tragic event. Choose what you like - drawing, poetry, making something with your own hands, etc. Don’t try to do it well. In your case, the goal is not to delight others, but to express yourself and your emotions as fully as possible. And remember that no matter how hard it is for you, it will definitely end, even if)