If you feel the end of a relationship that has absorbed you entirely for several years, as a way out of a long binge, then this article is for you. If falling out of love turned out to be happiness for you, not a tragedy, if you felt truly alive and happy just now - then this article is for you. If this happened to you for the first time - read this article, understand and forgive yourself, and move on with your life, knowing where your “button” is and protecting it from daylight. If for the second... third... fourth time you swear to yourself that no one else will ever lure you into this trap, you need to contact a specialist. Until it's not too late. While your life can still be saved. What is happening to you is addiction. No less terrible than gambling addiction or drug addiction. And it is very important to find the answer to the question, how did you get here? Why are some people addicted and others not? Why do other, “smart women” run away from such relationships like hell, why do they manage to remain independent and respectful in love, while you have only one path – to be crushed, devastated, de-energized? Let me try to tell you how it all happened. 24 hours a day you waited for his call. You were absorbed in this expectation and any attempts by others to attract your attention or their advice to distract yourself and do something were perceived by you as blasphemy. You were filled with anxiety and despair at the thought that he might never call. A short conversation on the phone put you in a state of bliss, and for the next few hours you were absorbed in carefully analyzing the information that was or could be contained in a three-minute conversation. And what dynamics in the relationship follows from this conversation. And how could you behave so that this dynamic becomes different (read: how to control this vital being for you FROM THE INSIDE, absorbing into it and permeating every cell of it). The dates took place in the same way. You didn't exist. More precisely, you existed inside your partner, like a person who works as a walking advertisement and walks the streets in a costume of a huge duck. Or Winnie the Pooh... Only he takes off his suit at the end of the working day, but you tried to extend your stay inside your “beloved” to infinity. What was it like for your partner in this situation? A woman can endure pregnancy for 9 months. And then about another year of breastfeeding. And this is the maximum period, at the limit of tolerance. The happiness of motherhood is interrupted every now and then by outbursts of despair and irritation. A man is not meant for this at all. Although he can sometimes dream about what a wonderful mother he would be. As a result, the way you fell in love - stuck - imprinted - absorbed into your partner - causes outbursts of aggression in him, provokes sadism. And you feel a panicky fear that you will be abandoned and cling even more tightly. Which, accordingly, intensifies the next outbreak of aggression. And the snowball of your tragic addiction rolls and rolls down the mountain, rapidly increasing in size. Addiction is nothing more than a person's desire to return to his mother's womb. Because the unearthly bliss experienced there was never repeated in his life. What happened to the baby at the moment of birth and immediately after, why the real world once and for all became alien and cold for him - this is a topic for working with a psychotherapist. Which will help you start living again. Free and happy in relationships.