Sometimes on the Internet one of the simplest ways to start changing your life is to change your environment. Start communicating with other people, so to speak, from other worlds and views. As a result, we will begin to change our internal views. We can also change the city in which we live, or move to another. Even a change of job can help. While you are young, a change in the social “climate” is not so painful and unpleasant. Remember how in childhood we easily became friends. Even now, if you come to a children’s playground, you can see how children, even without knowing each other’s names, play and communicate. Such luxury is already prohibitive when you are 30, and if you are over 40 or more, just starting to be friends or communicate with someone is the maximum under the effect of alcohol. But this only seems to us. In reality, nothing prevents us from communicating with each other as easily as in childhood. Only the social norms of society slow us down: “what if it’s not possible,” “what will they think?” "This is not appropriate". This invisible social barrier is very difficult to overcome. That’s why there are so many social networks for dating now. Perhaps all these adult norms for communication are precisely the very ways to maintain personal boundaries that protect people from each other. But one inconvenience about them is that they do not take into account an individual approach. For example, a girl should not meet first. This rule leaves the first step up to the man. It seems convenient and understandable, just like in chess white goes first. But we are people, not pawns. Sometimes a girl wants to meet, but she can’t because of the rules of society. And as a result, she may miss her soul mate. Therefore, psychologists work with the creation of individual boundaries for each person. Using general rules for life is like one single size, color and style of shoes for all residents of the city. After all, this is nonsense, everyone wears only one type of shoes. But in communication, for some reason, such rules are normal. By the way, about your boundaries. You not only need to be able to protect them, but also know your psychological territory as a person. We most often feel a violation of our borders or begin to defend it when the enemy is already at the capital and is about to completely destroy us. And only in these acute moments do we look for help and salvation first in friends, acquaintances, relatives, but there is a catch, they also live by the same general rules of personal boundaries. And they also don’t know their own and other people’s boundaries, which makes communication painful and unpleasant for everyone. It turns out to be a dead end, a vicious circle, as society suggests doesn’t suit me, but I don’t know how comfortable it is for me. So it’s time to go to a Psychologist and find a way out of the dead end life. Author Aliev Andrey - Psychologist online