From the author: The other day I was asked a question: Who should a man have in first place, his wife or children? The man himself answered this question. I remembered several stories, and so this story was born, united by several cases. The image is collective, so all coincidences are random. One boy had a very happy childhood. He grew up in a complete family, loved by his mother, father, and grandparents. The boy was very loved. Both mom and dad doted on him. For mom, of course, he came first, then dad, then other close people, and then she for herself. In order for the boy to grow up successful, his mother set other boys as an example for him: his older cousin and a couple of other guys. She rarely cited dad as an example, probably because the other guys were closer in age to the boy than his father. At least that's what the boy thought. Sometimes he got angry listening to these examples, but he quickly suppressed the anger in a way that one should not be angry with his parents - after all, they love him. All the best is only for him, then for dad, then for other loved ones, and then for mom... My parents always knew what was best for him - in this they were in solidarity. They told different, instructive stories and even asked his opinion. But their opinion was the most correct! Now he knows that listening and hearing your child (wife) are different concepts. You will probably decide that the boy grew up selfish and does not know how to love at all? Fortunately, he did not become an egoist. The boy grew up and became a successful man, just as his mother wanted. He knows how to take care of himself, his wife, his children and his parents, his subordinates, and friends. He is happy! To do this, he had to read quite a lot of books and articles on psychology and undergo a course of psychotherapy. There was a period in his life when he experienced pangs of conscience about who should come first, to whom and how to devote more time and attention. Of course, there were those who were dissatisfied...Currently there is peace and understanding in his family. His wife and his children are proud of him, and so are his parents. His mother sometimes finds a reason for suffering, plunging into the role of the victim. She sometimes says phrases that would have previously made him feel guilty, before he worked through his codependency and was able to separate. The habit of comparison remained with his mother. Only he treats it differently now. He is not destroyed, as before - in thoughts and emotions, and does not devalue himself. Love and value help him to be fulfilled! Psychotherapy made it possible for him to understand and accept the behavior of his parents. Create your own life scenario. What do you think: Who comes first for him? He himself! For his wife, he is a wonderful husband, partner and lover! For children, he is a father and friend! For his parents, he is a son, an adult son! Are his parents happy? R.s. First of all, it is important to understand how we fill our roles, how we build mature relationships, and not line up close people. Whatever the past, you can create your present, act consciously and maturely in your life and in your relationships with children, wives/husbands and parents. Parents can be accepted as they are. They could have done it differently. And you can build high-quality relationships with them from the position of today, your maturity. You can mature not only with the help of psychotherapy, but also on your own! It may be faster with psychotherapy. Everyone has their own choice, their own path! The image is collective, so all coincidences are accidental. Dear readers, I wish you a joyful autumn! Thank you for your attention!