4 years ago I went through a difficult divorce - my husband left for someone else. There were many grievances, scandals, property was divided. I was left alone with my son. At first I didn’t want any personal life at all. And now my son is already growing up - he is 14 years old, and I feel lonely. I want to try to start a family again, but I just can’t decide to meet someone - past experience is getting in the way. I don’t know where you can meet a serious person, how to behave when meeting, how to overcome fear. Please tell me. Such “baggage” as past grievances, negative experiences, fear and ignorance of how to behave with potential “suitors”, of course, complicates your task. But you can cope with this and start a new life! You'll just have to work on yourself a little. A woman who has been married for a long time and experienced a divorce, unfortunately, is completely unaware of the modern “marriage market.” Her expectations often do not correspond to reality and provoke new disappointments. This is confirmed by the experience of the marriage agency. Let's talk today about how to change yourself, avoid disappointments and build new happy relationships. Here are the basic rules that will help you start your personal life with a clean slate. Let's not waste time! Of course, after a divorce, you shouldn’t immediately go into all sorts of troubles - this will help to distract you, but something serious is unlikely to happen. First you need to survive everything, “let off steam”, cool down. Put everything into perspective: what mistakes you yourself have made in relationships, what you need to learn and how to change yourself, what kind of person you want to see next to you. This may take six months to a year. But don’t delay any longer – start a new life! Your subconscious, having experienced a negative experience, can come up with a lot of excuses: “there is no time”, “there are no worthy men”, “I’ll wait until the child grows up”, “I don’t need this”, “fate will find it on the stove”, etc. Sound familiar? These are all tricks of your fear, do not give in to them! The older a woman is, the more difficult it is for her to start from scratch. This is due not only to age-related changes in appearance, but also to changes in psychology. With age, it becomes more and more difficult to accept new things, change, and adapt. And in each age category (30-40 years old, 40-50 years old, 50-60 years old) there are fewer and fewer men. Therefore, you should hurry, because life goes on! Letting go of the past! Living grievances and accumulated negativity do not make it possible to attract happy relationships into your life. This not only corrodes a person from the inside, but also transfers to everyone who communicates with him, especially men. Men subconsciously feel a woman with negative “baggage” and try to avoid relationships with her. After all, she, in fact, has nothing to give - she is filled with past grievances. And not every man wants to constantly prove that “he is good” - he needs to be perceived as such a priori. But losers, whiners, etc. It's quite possible to attract. Therefore, the conclusion: if you want to live happily, let go of the past for good! The main thing here is forgiveness. Even if you think that you were treated unfairly, do not judge, leave it to higher powers. You yourself need forgiveness to cleanse your soul. Maybe this particular event (divorce) is the beginning of a new happy life destined for you! Let’s get to know ourselves again! Before you go into a new life, you need to reconsider your self-esteem. After all, the last time you were a “bride,” you were completely different. But the whole point of our self-esteem is that it does not change. Once formed in a young beautiful girl, it remains that way for the rest of her life. This leads to the fact that expectations for men remain the same as those of a young beauty, and their own capabilities do not live up to them. Many 40-50 year old women who come to a marriage agency carry the motto within themselves: “I am a princess!” or “Love my priceless soul, but don’t look at my appearance!” But they themselves look at everything - a man’s appearance, wealth, availability of apartments and cars. Such “mottos” make it very difficult to arrange your personal life, since it