Recently, women have begun to come to me for consultation more often, asking for help in understanding the reasons for their loneliness. At the same time, I noticed that most often these are young women around 33 - 38 years old. Some of them have a child from their first marriage. Women sometimes meet men, but the relationship does not develop further and separation occurs. The desire to meet an interesting man and start a family with him remains unfulfilled in this case. It is clear that every woman puts something of her own into the phrase “interesting man.” For some women, an interesting man is a man with a sense of humor. And for another, it’s an intellectual or a man who knows how to cook deliciously. After all, not all women like to do this. And some men are great at it. But unfortunately, time passes, and nothing changes in the lives of these women. And this desired man does not appear, and if he does, it does not last long. To attract men you need to be a woman. This is obvious. And in order to attract interesting men, you need to be an interesting woman yourself, and for this you need to find your “highlights” (attractive features) and show them. At one of the consultations I had Tatyana (name changed, permission for publication received). After our conversation, I suggested that she do an exercise to explore her femininity and attractiveness to men. This exercise is done with the help of imagination. I asked Tatyana to spontaneously imagine an image of her femininity (the first thing that comes to mind). The young woman had an image of a wooden flower. The flower was felt in the chest. When identifying with the image, she felt like a little girl who was not allowed to show feelings of joy and other spontaneous feelings. It was these feelings that Tatyana had been forbidden since childhood. Her parents were strict and brought up obedience in her. But spontaneity, playfulness and the manifestation of strong feelings in the girl were suppressed. Little Tanyusha loved her parents and learned to restrain her feelings and distance herself from them. Gradually it became a habit. The woman understood that in relationships with men she behaved exactly the same. He keeps an internal distance from them and does not show sincere feelings. Men read this quickly. Any man wants warmth, tenderness, sincerity and a little playfulness in a relationship. The work with the client continued. I showed her how to show loving and kind feelings towards her Inner Girl. Tatyana gave this Girl permission to be playful and to show her sincere feelings. She allowed me to be myself and enjoy life. In the process, the wooden flower turned into a beautiful fragrant peony. Tatyana happily accepted this image into herself and her sensations in her body changed. “I feel tenderness and attractiveness in myself!” - said the woman without containing her joy. Thus, the ban on expressing sincere feelings in childhood prevented a young woman from arranging her personal life with a man she was interested in. Tatyana’s image of femininity was first presented in the form of a wooden flower, and then a fragrant peony. What is your image of femininity? Psychologist Lyudmila Dubenkova, 2021. If you need help understanding your feelings and relationships, please call +79103934306 (WhatsApp, Telegram, Viber). You can read other articles by the author here.