From the author: Parental love. How to choose the dose and method of expression? A client approached me. A young guy, he was 14 years old. What brought him? Resentment towards his mother overwhelmed and tormented him. And the following happened to him. He lived in the village with his mother and sister, his mother loved him very much. My sister got it all the time from her mother. And his mother never scolded him, his son. He lived without bothering himself. And at the age of 14 he started smoking. And my mother found out about it. Without thinking twice, the mother and aunt took off their son’s trousers. The aunt held him, and the mother beat her with a twig in front of her sister. He came to me the next day. There was resentment in my soul. Fresh wounds prevented me from sitting. And the cry of the soul with the question “How could she?...” The mother’s love did not fit into what happened. Tears burst out. “How could she?...” the question sounded again. Having worked through the humiliation and resentment, we came to the conclusion that his mother still loves him. And fear for him, combined with illiteracy (my mother did not have a higher education) led her to such behavior. He calmed down. And then I asked him: “Are you going to smoke again?” “No. Never,” he answered. The client’s resentment, pain, and misunderstanding of what happened were left behind. Peace came to his soul. And I was increasingly surprised and amazed by the effect that what happened once and for all discouraged the young man from smoking. Sometimes it takes a lot of persuasive, intelligent conversations with teenagers who smoke on this topic, but there is zero effect. And here a simple village woman quickly resolved the issue. I'm not advocating doing that. I don't think this method will work for everyone. Moreover, for some, such an influence will have the exact opposite effect: the teenager will turn away from their parents and smoke out of spite. And I thought the following: no matter what a parent does, if it is out of love for the child, it has a positive result. And sooner or later the child will forgive his mother and father. And vice versa - no matter how much a parent philosophizes, tries to do the right things, but if there is no love at the core, then there will be no result. Here we remember the story of the famous musician Vladimir Spivakov; his father shaved his head as punishment. But now, years later, the maestro admits that his father was right. Before you do anything, tell your child, ask yourself a question: “Am I doing this now out of love for him? Or out of your own convenience, knowledge, principles, rules established by someone unknown? etc.”And here I would like to quote Angel de Coitiers from his book “The Transformation of the Spirit”: “They tell me: “We loved our children!”, But their children became murderers, drug addicts... I would kill if I were would we love? Would I poison my life if I felt loved? Would I put my life at unnecessary risk...if I knew I was loved? No. But my parents tell me...: “We loved our children!” They say and look for compassion in me. And I ask them: “Did you love them the way you wanted, or the way your children wanted you?” If you have difficulties and questions in raising your children, please contact us. I'll be glad to help you.