Due to their profession, psychologists are often faced with the client transferring some aspects of their life onto them. And at this moment, it is important to notice it, track it and show it to the client. Show him what he “does” with people, which will go a long way toward explaining the problem in his life. Failing to recognize this, the psychologist risks starting to play his “game” with the client, which will put an end to the help itself and turn the work into long-term “therapy” and sooner or later risks ending in conflict. (The text of the initial request is modified and impersonal) Good afternoon. How can I stop choosing rejecting psychologists and those who will eventually not care about me? I have had constant depersonalization for 10 years. With one psychologist - 11 months of work. The woman, I hung up on her, she was a cold, ignoring psychologist. I couldn’t leave, I kept waiting for help, but I was getting worse, I barely left. With another - 15 months of work, then another 9 months, also nothing good, I decided to look for a full-time specialist. I found it, they worked for 18 months, this man was already there. Depression went from severe to mild, everything connected with the first psychologist was lived through. As a result, the latter violated ethics and blocked me. I recovered from this for 3 months on pills. Everyone had education, not courses. 2 years passed between therapies, I couldn’t trust. What should we do now? In order to experience rejection in life and painful feelings, I go to a psychotherapist and the same thing happens there. I feel like an abnormal and wrong client. Good afternoon! Here it is very important to understand that there are no “rejecting” psychologists as such. (And I’m not arguing with you). The fact is that you attribute exactly this quality to them, because they... sometimes allow themselves to behave with you not like parents. You need care and attention, and this is exactly what you are waiting for. But the psychologist may or may not give this, this is his tool that he uses to “return” responsibility to the client. Now let’s return to you, you ascribe to psychologists (and, in fact, to all people, especially loved ones) the duty to take care of you, even so, you demand this from them. And if this does not happen, you begin to behave like an offended child, so you were blocked and you were injured for 3 months. Can you imagine how dependent you are on the attitude of strangers towards you, on their opinion of you. Your “point” of work is precisely working with this dependence, interrupting it. A stranger is free by nature and can do whatever he wants, even if you don’t like it. You give him this freedom, but at the same time you give yourself exactly the same freedom. Because you are angry precisely because they allow themselves what you cannot afford. You make them obligatory because you consider yourself obligated to do something for others. What is most important, you are free and can do what you want. And here’s the most interesting thing: you also make yourself dependent on strangers and therefore are not free yourself. Depending on their attitude towards you, you are forced to behave not as you want, but as, in your opinion, they need. And in this you are “not free”. You need to refuse therapy, therapy hooks you into a “relationship” with a psychologist, which a priori should not exist, this is a direct path to another addiction and depression. But we need to say a few words about psychologists, they need to build boundaries with you and show you what I described in this article. They need to show you how not free you are (and why) and how, on this basis, you want to make them not free. As soon as you see this in the example of real communication (your own mechanisms), awareness will come and only then changes are possible. **Work with a psychologist, Whats App: 8-926-133-29-56, ttps://algorpsy.online/ Psychodynamic online group: https://www.b17.ru/trainings/online_psychodynamic_group/