From the author: The article will be useful for those who find it difficult to cope with their emotions. Here you will find several recommendations on how to do this. One evening I had a fight with a loved one, but was too lazy to work off negative emotions before going to bed. As a result, I woke up sleepy, with a headache and angry. This article will help you deal with such situations without repeating my mistake. But first, a little theory to understand the process. To apply the recommendations, you must understand the following:1. there is no need to divide emotions into negative and positive. Despite all the external evidence of such a division, it is both wrong and useless. It is more expedient to divide emotions into adequate ones, i.e. corresponding to the situation of their occurrence, and inadequate. For example, in the situation of returning home in a poorly lit residential area, fear and other anxieties are quite adequate: they keep you on your toes and allow you to quickly react to sudden danger. Another question is how adequate is the fear of talking to a stranger at a party or going out into the street with an unwashed hair.2. emotion does not exist on its own. She is a reaction to your own thoughts. Someone will say: “not on my thoughts, but on other people’s actions or external situations.” No, this only applies to children under two years of age. Take away their toy and you will get hit or cry. But they will soon forget about what happened, retaining neither anger nor resentment towards the offender. The adult will make far-reaching conclusions that can change his attitude not only towards others, but also towards himself, towards others, towards the place of the tragedy, towards life in general.3. emotion is always a requirement for action, a drive. She is the engine and the main motivator, so she simply has to realize herself somehow. And again, it is the mind that transforms the initial binary code of “hit-flight” into the entire diversity of human behavior. If we summarize what has been said, we get something like this: an emotion is an adequate or not so adequate reaction to your own thoughts, requiring implementation in action. From the definition it is clear: in order to cope with experiences, you need to get to the bottom of your thoughts and change them so that they become a guide to action, rather than running around in circles in your head. I propose the following algorithm: 1. Take a break. Switch to something interesting. News, cinema, work, play, conversation - anything that is exciting to you in itself. If the situation is not resolved immediately, it is advisable to remove yourself from it in order to come to your senses. Later, this will help you look at what is happening from the outside and prevent impulsive actions that can only make things worse.2. Calm down. The stronger the emotion, the more persistently it demands action and the less susceptible it is to the influence of thought. The simplest and most effective way is to concentrate on breathing. Close your eyes and just listen to how you breathe. Don't try to control anything, just listen. You will see that this works much better in practice than in words.3. If you can’t calm down, react. Share with a friend, work with dumbbells, and finally get your head around. Tension should motivate a decision, but not interfere with thinking soberly.4. Try to stay in the context of current plans and affairs. If before the incident you were planning to go to the store, clean up, solve a work problem, or something else, do it, even if you no longer feel like it. Often this works better than the previous points and helps move on to the next ones. In addition, some events, especially domestic conflicts, can simply be waited out. They dissolve on their own as spontaneously as they arise.5. Assess the significance of what happened. We often greatly exaggerate this very significance (read above about far-reaching conclusions). Imagine what will happen if you do nothing now. If there are no serious consequences, then is it worth worrying about? Better return to the previous point.6. Make a decision: what exactly are you going to do? The action should be as specific as possible and implementable in the near future. For example, “Vasya is a natural goat, I won’t have anything to do with him anymore” or “Vasya, in fact, was!