In this article, I continue to share ideas on what simple steps will help you get out of the position of a victim. In addition to personal responsibility for your health, speech, behavior, order around yourself, successes and failures, I suggest 3 more important steps. 1) Understanding your desires It is difficult for the victim to hear his own desires. For a long time, she listened to other people first. What does mom, dad, husband, children and other loved ones want? This is a way to adapt to your surroundings. Pleasing others is an easy way to get support, approval, praise, and attention. All these benefits keep the victim in this position. Changing priorities is difficult. And very scary. Others will certainly not like this change. They are already accustomed to being the center of attention. And then you have to explain why suddenly, instead of ironing her husband’s shirts, the woman goes to lie in the bath. Start doing what you want every day. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the desire to lie down with a book or order pizza instead of cooking. One nice thing a day. Then more - if possible. If it is difficult to understand what you want. You can start from simple scales: pleasant / unpleasant, relaxing / stressful, interesting / boring, etc. Rely on your feelings. 2) Choice It is difficult for the victim to make an independent choice. She is afraid of making a mistake, regretting, or missing out on something important. It's scary that no one will support or approve of her decision. Therefore, she often turns to loved ones for advice. This relieves her of responsibility for the decision. Learn to choose intuitively without consulting anyone. Another important point - do not discuss your decision with anyone for 24 hours, so as not to doubt it. Make a choice every day. What to wear, what to eat for breakfast, what shoes to choose, what movie to watch, etc. Small steps to big results! 3) New experience Our brain forms new neural connections when it processes new information. This increases the flexibility and creativity of thought processes. Bring more new things into your life. Don't wait for someone to offer you something - take the initiative. The difficulty is that what stops us from novelty is the need to maintain comfort and safety. Leaving your comfort zone is scary. It is unknown what will happen there. And thanks to the instinct of self-preservation for protecting us from thoughtless risks. The victim is trying to protect himself from unpleasant, unsafe situations. Thus, she deprives herself of the opportunity to overcome difficulties and become more confident. While maintaining the usual way of life, it is impossible to gain new experience. When you take the initiative into your own hands and organize something yourself, you also take responsibility for the result. Try something new every day: brush your teeth with your left hand, wear a dress instead of a robe at home, go to the store along a new route, cook something new, etc. Take care of yourself! Thank you for your attention!© Anastasia Shvetsova