What are personal boundaries? It’s about what you allow other people to do about you and what you don’t allow. Personal boundaries are closely related to one of the basic emotions - anger. What is this for? Well, besides, a person who does not have an understanding of his personal boundaries and the personal boundaries of those around him often experiences exactly this emotion. Here is Alena. Alena has a wonderful figure, she eats healthy food and is not on a diet. Alena feels good, she is not deprived of attention, but the women around her are always worried about her, saying: Oh, how thin you are! How come the wind doesn’t blow you away?! You might get fat! You need to eat more! And even if, in the subjective opinion of these women, our Alena is really thin, then is it really necessary to talk about it? I think only if Alena asks their opinion. In any other situation, this would be a violation of boundaries. And Alena, in order not to quarrel with wonderful women, remains silent, endures, and develops complexes. But we need to defend boundaries. Of course, if Alena has problems with boundaries, then most likely together with problems of self-esteem, interpersonal relationships and other baggage. It’s impossible to tell everything in one post, so let’s briefly talk about boundaries. How to defend them? Well, that's not to say it's easy. A lot of people will be offended. They don’t know what boundaries are. Let’s consider a scenario for defending boundaries using the example of Alena. What can Alena answer when they once again tell her that she is thin: Did I ask your opinion about my weight? (The answer will be no). Then why are you telling me this? For what purpose are you telling me about this? We can discuss something more interesting (for example, a book), what is the point of you thinking and talking about my weight? The interlocutor may be stunned (after all, this is not accepted in our society), there may even be anger and aggression (but remember, a person’s reactions and his words speak only about himself, not about you). Ask what in his understanding “is not thin”, which is a kind of conditional norm for him. Is the person himself in this norm? Explain that everyone has their own norm. Say, “I will always have time to become fat.” Thank you (this will cause a stupor in the interlocutor). Tell me how long you have been trying to lose weight, eating right, playing sports to get such a figure that you are not ashamed to go to the beach in a swimsuit. Use humor, say - “If you want to help, then you can feed me. I will be only glad.” Voice your list of preferences. Healthy personal boundaries to everyone!