From the author: The wife of an alcoholic almost always asks questions: how to behave with her alcoholic husband, how to help him and what to do? Following reflections come actions - control over the patient in order to protect him from taking the next dose of the potion, control that can and is simply obliged to restrain and, in the end, stop the drunkenness of a person close to them. How could it be otherwise? The wife of an alcoholic almost always asks questions: how to behave with her alcoholic husband, how to help him and what to do? Following reflections come actions - control over the patient in order to protect him from taking the next dose of the potion, control that can and is simply obliged to restrain and, in the end, stop the drunkenness of a person close to them. How could it be otherwise? Controlling behavior is very easy to recognize in alcoholic families: this is usually the fault of the wife, who repeatedly does not allow her drunken husband into the house, can hit him or punish the offender by banning breakfast, lunch and dinner at the common table. This also includes the constant search for alcohol reserves hidden by the husband and their methodical destruction, the imperceptible “supplement” of culinary dishes with miraculous cures for an addiction, the ban on communicating with drinking buddies, etc. All this and more is a manifestation of controlling behavior, which is typical for codependent wives of alcoholic husbands. Controlling behavior can manifest itself to varying degrees - from obvious, direct coercion, to its softer forms, hidden under the guise of tenderness and care. It seems good. – by solving certain problems, the wife provides a kind of assistance in a difficult situation. But no! With such behavior, codependent wives not only do not help their sick loved ones get out of difficulties, on the contrary, they artificially block the will of this person and eliminate responsibility for their own lives! What is the purpose of this omnipresent and continuous control on the part of the wife of an alcoholic? The answer is simple - force it. Force him to undergo treatment, force him to drink less, force him not to communicate with pub regulars, etc. Force them to do what is right from the point of view of the controlling person - the wife of an alcoholic. Ask yourself: why do you need control? To help? Do you know better what an alcoholic husband needs? Because you're scared to sit back and watch him destroy himself? That's right, at the moment when trouble strikes, any sane person tries with all his might to overcome the troubles that have arisen. However, it should be understood that addiction is a barrier that cannot be overcome by force. And on this path of overcoming it is worth trying to avoid the typical mistakes that wives of alcoholic husbands make over and over again. Thus, codependent wives have an irresistible desire to care for and save their unhappy husband. This kind of becomes their life goal. Such wives are confident that they are the ones responsible for the feelings and actions of another person - in our case, the husband. A wife does for her miserable husband what he can easily handle on his own. A codependent wife speaks for her husband, decides for him, even thinks for him! And so-called care in this interpretation does not bring either positive results or satisfaction - such behavior is similar to complicity, the result of which is maintaining the husband’s alcoholism in an active state. But it’s true that you can continue to drink without a twinge of conscience, because tomorrow they will again save him from suffering and torment, they will justify his absence from work by inventing a sudden cold... What other typical mistakes do the wives of alcoholics make, thereby not helping their husband in any way and, in at the same time, ruining your own normal mental and physical state? Such a wife looks for excuses for her husband’s drunkenness, does not advertise his illness to neighbors, and in order to control her husband’s behavior and prevent excessive alcohol consumption, she tries to be with him more often…