From the author: The article lists the reasons why you go in circles all the time, want to break up, make up your mind - but then everything comes back again. And what can you do to break this cycle. Break free. At the consultation: “I can’t do this anymore. Nothing good is happening and will not happen in the future. I feel depressed, somehow washed out. I see that there is no sincerity, there are lies all around. I want to end this nightmare. I say - that's it! And then in the evening it hits me. And again everything is new.” Why can’t I leave? Let’s first discuss why you can’t break off the relationship once and for all. These reasons, of course, are different for everyone. Try to find your option among those I have listed. Scary for the future. Yes, now it’s not great. But relatively predictable. While the future seems to be just a gray stream of despondency, where there will not be even a piece of joy. Where is the guarantee that what happens next will be at least the same as now? There are too many grievances. I want to ask, explain, sort it out, express. As long as you want it, the relationship will not end. Rather, even the opposite. Passion. It seems that the brain understands that nothing good is happening. But you just have to touch each other - and that’s it, it’s as if there is no brain. Vanity. How can you deprive yourself of a fan with your own hands? Who says beautiful words, maybe even worships? Nadezhda. Of course, I want to believe in the fulfillment of all desires. What if we get married after all? And we will live long and happily? Feelings of guilt. No one wants to be the culprit of someone’s suffering. I parting is always suffering. What am I doing wrong? Let’s say you were able to understand why you are constantly “pulled” back. But how does this manifest itself in your behavior? The classic option is when “farewell” letters are written one after another. Which do not at all prevent the relationship from going on and on. But you really want to stop everything! And you write sincere letters. Say goodbye to them! And believe that this time - exactly EVERYTHING! Or - if you break up in person. It seems like you say everything clearly. But you probably always leave a “loophole”. Here are examples of “loopholes”. You insert a lot of conditions. “If you are ready, let’s say goodbye!” You shift responsibility to your partner. “I want you to make this decision as an adult, we must break up.” You ask a lot of questions: “Why did you do this? Why do you need me? Explain. “You directly hint: “I hope that you will survive this. You know, I don't want to hurt you. If it gets really bad, call.” Arrange “farewell hugs”: “Let’s hug for the last time.” Remember your “partings.” Which of these did you do? How to do it? Look again at the list above. Have you found your mistakes? Don't repeat them again! Otherwise, you will go round and round around your happiness. You know what not to do. But what should it be? Next is a step-by-step action plan. These steps may take time. They may be accompanied by both pain and despair. But they will lead you to a new life. Remember that everything that happens to you is not “for what?”, but “for what?”. So that you become wiser, more experienced, closer to happiness. If there is a psychologist next to you at this time, at least you will not go “to a new circle.” As a maximum, break off the relationship in such a way as to avoid pain for both yourself and your partner. People often turn to me at the stage of “How to save the family?”, but even more often - “How to make it so that it doesn’t hurt anymore?” In fact, these are questions with the same meaning: “How to save yourself?” The family lives inside you. So, let's begin. Step 1. Set the moment for breaking the relationship. A specific date. Maybe even time. Avoid vague formulations, for example, such as: “when health is better”, “when the kids grow up”. Clearly - the date. Step 2. Designate a method for severing the relationship. This could be a letter (check it for loopholes). Or a conversation (without “farewell hugs” and clarification of relationships). Or just in English. It is important here that the relationship ends in your head. Step 3. Think through the necessary and sufficient +79602728696