From the author: The article was published on 03/05/10 on the women's portal and style and psychology Resentment accompanies us throughout our lives. It can cause terrible negative emotions that can make us do things that we later regret. Resentment gives rise to fear and hatred, depression and stress. But why are we offended? And how can we cope with this strong and unpleasant feeling? Resentment is inwardly directed, unexpressed anger. This feeling can cause great harm to mental health. Chronic resentment leads to severe psychosomatic disorders: stomach ulcers, hypertension, depression and many other diseases. One of my friends lived a wonderful family life. Husband, two children, excellent apartment and country house. In general, she had everything she needed for a comfortable stay. But one day something happened that she never expected. Her “faithful” husband began to cheat on her left and right. In addition, he even called her ugly a couple of times, which for any woman is tantamount to a serious offense. This fact touched her so deeply that she was very depressed. Her resentment tore her apart from the inside. She began to show the first signs of depression, self-esteem fell, and hypertension began to develop. And, in four months, this woman turned from a cheerful, happy person into a closed, sick, resentful creature. She kept turning questions in her head: why did he do this? What did I do wrong? If she had not turned to a psychologist at that moment, the consequences of her mental health would have been very severe. During times of stress, we become very vulnerable. Normally, you may not notice someone lightly pushing you on public transport, but if you have back pain, you will feel unbearable pain. The same thing happens with our emotions. If you are exhausted by a depressed state or have been in conflict with someone for a long time, then any trifle can cause you terrible resentment. Even, for example, that your girlfriend forgot to call you at the appointed time. But why does this feeling of resentment arise? And how do we fight it? High Expectations When you do a kind deed for someone, you expect him or her to respond in a certain way. You, as it were, invest your money in the bank, hoping to receive additional interest later. But what happens is not at all what you expected. Your good deed was not appreciated. And then you begin to feel a feeling of bitterness and resentment. What to do in this situation? Try to analyze your expectations. Take a closer look, are they too high? Don't expect your thoughts to be read. Be specific about what you don't like about your opponent's behavior. If your friend did not wish you a happy birthday, this does not mean that she has forgotten about you. Perhaps she may have personal problems or a lot of workload. After all, you are friends with her because you have something in common that unites you. In this case, put yourself in her place. Remember that your expectations may also contradict each other. For example, if your young man earns well, but absolutely does not know how to repair the faucet in your bathroom, is it worth distracting him from his main job? Maybe it would be better to call a plumber? Deliberate insult Even the most resilient and calm person can be enraged and touched to the quick. The main thing is to know its weaknesses. Remember how in childhood, when someone wanted to offend him or her, they called him or her bespectacled, fatty, and other similar words. Such treatment, as a rule, caused terrible resentment in the child. In adult life, intentional insults can be much harsher. How to resist this? If you see that you are being intentionally offended, try to abstract yourself from this situation for a second and ask yourself: “Do I want to experience negative feelings at the request of this person?” And treat his words like the sound of the wind outside the window. As a rule, such people “feed”