A lot of articles and theories have appeared recently on the topic of what needs to be done, how to live, so that everything is “good” in life. Trends in psychology and psychotherapy appear so often that even professionals find it difficult to keep track of them all. What works and what brings nothing but disappointment. Reading regular notes and answers to user questions, I wanted to write this note. Some of my colleagues will agree with me, some will not, but I think that theories are as important as beautiful words in the mouths of parents for children, about what is right and how to live. The main thing is the real relationship in which the child lives. The experience he receives in these relationships is the same difference as between a map and a terrain. Studying a map will never allow us to experience reality. A map will be useful only when a person already has experience in the area and needs a bird’s-eye view of the entire path that he has traveled. It is impossible to replace the experience located in the unconscious with anything other than another experience. You shouldn’t try to fit your experience to a map and pretend that if there has never been a swamp on the map, then there isn’t one in life. All that is possible is to see the inner reality that exists and sometimes accept the fact that this time there is nothing important on the map or it is not at all correct. And in my opinion, my task is not to lead a person somewhere. And teach him to survive in the area in which he is located. Learn how to make a fire, get food, and communicate with other residents of the area. Well, naturally, all this is possible only if you know how to do it yourself and are directly in the real life of a relationship with a client, being present in the world in which he lives. After all, psychologists are often in the navigator’s room, from which they guide the client’s solitary wandering through his world, focusing on the map that he has and do not want to face the person’s reality. And everything would be fine, but there are no such cards for everyone that are free of errors. But you can’t go anywhere without a map. Probably the only criterion for what needs to be done is the usefulness of the method for the client. What he needs and is useful at the moment. And here is another problem: what is necessary and useful for the client?