From the author: According to my observations, one of the most popular requests from clients recently is the question of teaching a child to be in order, creating discipline. One of the popular topics of inquiry from my clients lately is the topic of teaching a child to order and fulfillment of duties by children. This question is related to the formation of norms in the child, the development of discipline. No family exists without norms. Well-functioning constructive norms are the basis for family well-being. The formation of norms includes a whole algorithm. Step. 1. Formulation of standards. Before a parent begins to develop a certain rule of behavior for a child, it is important for the parent to think for himself: What rules of behavior should the child follow? For example, several different rules can be formulated regarding cleaning toys: a. put away toys before bed b. If you play with a toy, put it back. What we end up getting as a result of the first version of the rule: a mountain of toys before bed and the need to put them away for a long time, which depresses and stresses the child, the parent, because... the first formulation aims to correct the confusion. The second option is aimed at maintaining order; the child does not need to spend a lot of time and effort, the main thing is to explain this to him and reinforce this style of behavior. So, when formulating a rule, it is advisable for a parent to: 1. be able to clearly imagine the result of this rule. 2. formulate the rule clearly and understandably for the child (briefly, in the form of a behavior model) 3. take into account the child’s age 4. at the beginning of teaching the rules, do not load the child with a large number of them, it is better to choose one and go through the entire algorithm. 5. It is better to formulate the rule in the form of the need to perform the desired behavior, rather than formulating a prohibition. For example, “Put toys in their place” and “Do not scatter toys” Step 2. The child’s assimilation of the formulated norms At this stage, the parent actively interacts with the child and selects different options and methods so that the proposed new rule of behavior: - is absolutely clear to the child - has acquired meaning and significance for him in his implementation. To achieve these tasks, effectively use: discussion and dialogue with the child, a fairy tale also works well for these purposes (aimed at understanding the meaning of norms for the coexistence of people, the benefits of a specific norm, etc.), parent can use the game taking into account the age of the child. For example, for the age of your children, you can offer the game “Swap Places,” when all family members change roles and act out the behavior of a family member for a set time. After playing, a discussion is required: How correctly was the behavior reproduced? What was easy? And what was difficult? What is the result of the specific behavior? The important result that we achieve in this way is to look at ourselves from the outside, to feel the “life” of another family member. At this stage, it is important to build a dialogue with the child so that he develops an understanding of the norm and an internal desire to follow it. Step 3. Consolidating the desired pattern of behavior in the child’s repertoire. “True education consists not so much in rules as in exercises” Zh.Zh. Rousseau, therefore, it is very important to develop an effective system of rewards and punishments, to consolidate a new pattern of behavior in the child. The effectiveness of this system is determined by: - ​​the presence of positive and negative outcomes; - taking into account the individual characteristics of the child in order to create meaningful rewards and punishments - understanding rewards and punishments quite broadly: not only in the form of material factors, but also in the form of moral gains (for example, a feeling of success, praise from a parent, receiving bright positive impressions, etc.) - multiple repetitions. What methods can we use here? Considering the age of the children, you can