WHAT FAMILIES BREAK A CHILD'S PERSONALITYIn psychology there is the concept of a dysfunctional family. It is in such families that the child’s personality is formed with flaws, traumas and blocks. In such families there are 2 worlds. 1. This is a screen for others, they say, look, everything is perfect with us2. it's what happens inside. That place where no one is allowed. The place where problems are not solved, but accumulate. Constant scandals only relieve emotional tension, but do not lead to a solution and change in behavior strategy. In such a family, everyone has their own role; these roles are strictly regulated and cannot be changed. Here a child remains a child forever, even when he is 30. There is a strict hierarchy in these families. The authority of the parents or one of them is recognized. The needs of the rest are pushed further into the box. Opinion? No, we haven't heard. The child’s opinion is stubbornness, and we must fight it, because the child must be good (read obedient and comfortable). You cannot argue with adults. Growing up in such a family, a child learns the norms of behavior in society, in the family, the norms of how to treat oneself (don’t get close, don’t trust, you’re nobody, your opinion is insignificant, be the best, you can’t make mistakes, etc.). Do you think children from such families have problems in adult life and can this be corrected? THESE ROLES ARE NOT FOR US, WE DO NOT PLAY NOW.. Let's talk about roles in dysfunctional families. As I said before, these roles are strictly regulated and do not change with time. If a family member decides to change, then the entire family system will resist. Because it is on the rigidity of these roles and rules that the family rests. After the impudent rebellion of one dissenter, there are 3 ways of development: - The entire family system is transformed. With difficulty, but still on the mend. - Everything returns to normal. The lost sheep is blamed, reprimanded, but in the end they are forgiven and continue to live as before. The rebel is excluded from the system and lives as if he does not exist. What are the roles of the hero of the family? He is WELL DONE, he does everything himself, he will help everyone and will do everything. He is a protector and will sort everything out, decide, and save everyone. Typical lifeguard. He saves not to save, but to gain recognition and approval. He is a controller and manipulator. He knows for you what is best for you (even if he himself is still small). The child-hero has an internal conflict, since he is already performing adult Functions, but in fact the child himself must report to his parents for lessons, grades, etc. Heroes in the future deserve love for their achievements. They never have enough, they are dissatisfied with themselves, they do not take responsibility for themselves, but everything is for others. They themselves are often susceptible to addiction and become the best spouses for addicted people. SCAPEAGOAT He is to blame for everything. Unfulfillment of family members, alcoholism, quarrels, stress - all because of him. This puts pressure on a person; he bears someone else’s burden, suffering for everyone. Clearly he has problems with discipline, communication, and anger. This is a difficult teenager, a rowdy. He wants love, but is so afraid of being rejected that it’s easier for him to attack and send first. He is the opposite of the hero and his eternal rival. He receives attention not for his achievements, but for his misdeeds. Drugs, promiscuous sex, early pregnancy, prison - the most common route for this role is LOST CHILD, convenient and unnoticed, this is his characteristic. He learned from childhood that he is loved when he does not glare, does not cause inconvenience, or distracts. He plays by himself, studies by himself, sits in his room. He needs attention, but inside he feels worthless and useless. Lives in fantasies, does not know how to establish social connections, friends are often fictitious. Attackers take advantage of his gullibility. He eats up the emptiness inside, fills it with TV, books, etc. He doesn’t know how to say no, he’s immature, and joyless. Suicide attempts are often carried through to the end. JOKE Can't stand conflicts and defuses them with jokes. If someone is upset or angry, he throws out pearls to defuse the situation. Begins to believe that he is responsible for other people's feelings. He himself is unhappy and lonely, despite many acquaintances. He has low self-esteem, does not