When a woman enters a room where men are sitting, everyone looks at her, and the psychologist looks at these men. (Anecdote) A person cannot live without society. Our whole life proceeds in constant communication. Our well-being, and indeed life itself, depends on how this communication goes, how much we can understand other people. When communicating, we are involved in words, we get confused in them, we believe them and do not see what is behind these words. Strange as it may sound, it is often words that do not allow us to understand a person. From childhood, at home, in kindergarten, at school, at college, we are taught to pay all our attention to words spoken or written. We are positively reinforced for these actions. We grow, develop in this field and begin to see the world only through the prism of these words. And... we lose sight of a huge part of the world, which could be compared to the underwater part of an iceberg. In general, behind the trees of words we do not see the forest of other information, which is ten times larger and more informative. It turns out, according to the generally accepted opinion of scientists, during a conversation only 7-10% of information is carried by words (this is called verbal information), and the remaining 90% of information comes through other channels (non-verbal). And throughout our youth we learn to understand words and almost never learn to perceive the remaining 90% that is non-verbal information. And this leads to the fact that we practically do not understand the interlocutor at all. Well, imagine that while listening to some speech, you understood only 10% of the words. Will you then be able to understand what we are talking about? Probably very vague and very approximate. In addition, we must take into account the fact that people are prone to deception. And this is also a clearly established fact. It is estimated that on average we hear five to ten times of deception every day. This is possible because almost all of us easily control the words we speak, so there is an easy opportunity to commit deception. But it is impossible to control the body in this way, at least not the whole body. And it, as we already understood, carries 90% of the information. Therefore, someone who knows how to understand this information can see much more in a person than this person himself sees in himself. And, of course, he will not allow himself to be deceived so easily. Body language is a huge area that you can study throughout your life. In this article I would like to give several recommendations that, I think, would be useful both for beginners in this matter and for those who consider themselves specialists in communication. About a hundred and fifty years ago, one of the European doctors who worked with children with delayed mental and mental development (almost unable to speak), he was looking for a way to understand them - to understand what his ward was feeling or thinking. And he found a method, which he later wrote about in his works. In order to understand a child, he advised copying his face, his facial expressions - and then you can understand what this child feels. In Castaneda, the hero of his books, Don Juan, in order to understand another person well, gives him a technique called “Pass in someone else's moccasins." Its essence is that you need to follow someone you decide to understand well for a long time, mapping his gait, gestures, movements. And in NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) it is stated that if you map your interlocutor, you will be able to understand what he feels. And if you know him well, then with a high degree of reliability you will be able to understand what he thinks. All this is explained by the fact that our feelings are inseparable from the body, all of them, in order to exist, must manifest themselves in the body. If there is no manifestation in the body, then these feelings do not exist. And if you display them with your body, then you begin to experience them. In the training, “emotional intelligence” postulates: in order to understand well the emotions of both yourself and others, you must be able to voluntarily display the entire spectrum of human emotions. By the way, Paul Ekman, the prototype of the protagonist of the film “Lie to Me”, who created a map of human emotions, learned to depict absolutely all emotions on his face. And he also turned.