I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link



















Original text

The psychological nature of the formation of the “I’m used to breaking up” scenario and its manifestation in relationships with the opposite sex are described in detail in one of the previous articles. And in this one we will talk about how to rid yourself of this scenario and give yourself the opportunity to successfully build relationships with representatives of the opposite sex. Step 1. Awareness of the presence of a scenario in behavior. The first thing you need to do is admit to yourself the existence of such a scenario. The previous article on this topic can be used as a kind of test to analyze your behavior. If you find yourself with all the symptoms of a person’s behavior with the scenario “I’m used to breaking up,” then it is also typical for you. Ask yourself the question “Do I think at the very beginning of my acquaintance that I will break up with the person?” And if the answer is yes, then try to analyze your past relationships, understand what makes you think this way at the present time. How painful have you been through a breakup before? Are you ready to experience the same feelings again? Are you consciously holding yourself back from immersing yourself in relationships? Do you forbid yourself to have feelings for a person? Do you accept his feelings or do you ignore them? Do you restrain the manifestations of your emotions that your chosen one evokes in you? Do you refuse to help your partner so as not to be included in his life? Isn’t the basis of such refusals based on the conviction that participation in his life will contribute to a dangerous rapprochement with his chosen one, etc. Step 2. Recognition that the scenario interferes with building a relationship. As a rule, the person who declares that he already accustomed to breakups, that relationships with the opposite sex do not work out for him, he attributes all the blame for the breakup either to his partner or to some external reasons that do not depend on him or reasons that he cannot eliminate. In other words, a person is not ready to admit his contribution to the breakdown of relations with a partner, often without really realizing it. For example, among such external reasons can be named: low material wealth of a person and the commercialism of girls, the desire of men only for sex while not wanting to be in serious relationships with girls, being very busy at work and resentment of chosen ones for the lack of attention to them on your part, etc. n. In reality, relationships in a couple are spoiled by the attitudes and principles that shape a person’s behavior towards his chosen one. It is important to realize that your scenario interferes with building relationships with the opposite sex. For what reasons did the relationship end? Has your relationship ever ended on your partner’s initiative? What role did you play in the breakdown of the relationship? Does the script help you reduce the pain of another breakup? What is really more important to you: avoiding the pain of separation or building a real relationship? Recognizing your personal contribution to the fact that relationships lead to a sad ending again and again will give you a motive to start working on yourself and your behavior. If you continue to place the blame for breakups entirely on your partner, fate, karma, etc., it will not allow you to change this area of ​​your life for the better. Step 3. Detailing the scenario. And then you need to analyze the scenario in detail. to highlight individual behavioral manifestations. Ask yourself the question “What exactly, what words, deeds, actions or inactions do I play out this scenario.” The main aspects of behavioral tactics within the scenario are described in a previous article on this topic. Make a list of your own behavioral tactics in relationships with your partner. You will need it for further work on yourself. Step 4. Developing skills of empathy and reflection. When you have a list of such aspects of your behavior, you need to work through each of them to determine what risk each of them poses for the relationship separately. To do this, you need to try to understand how each of the!