Continuation of the previous article, how to survive a breakup: 8. I won’t write here about the fact that you can’t get back together with your ex, it’s possible, but there are a lot of buts... Please don’t come back if: there was violence in the relationship, there was a threat to your health or even life. In all other cases, you need to figure it out individually; there are no uniform rules of conduct; it’s up to you to decide.9. Your main goal to begin with is to achieve good health through satisfying basic needs, taking care of yourself: proper rest and sleep, proper nutrition, sports, self-care, walks, meeting with friends, doing what you love. In such a crisis period as a breakup, you should treat yourself as carefully as possible, like a child, i.e. takes care of yourself as a loving parent would take care of a sick child: feed yourself easily digestible food, make sure that meals are not skipped, that there is no overeating, make sure that you go to bed on time, walk in the fresh air, indulge yourself in interesting activities, etc. Become for yourself during this difficult period of life as a caring parent. This life hack helps a lot: take your childhood photo and place it in a frame in a visible place so that you can see it as often as possible during the day. Every time you see a photo of yourself as a child, ask, how can I take care of myself, what can I do for myself? Many of my clients at the stage of recovery, that is, when strength and energy have already appeared, were helped by changing their image (changing their hairstyle, image , wardrobe updates), moving, changing jobs to a more interesting one, renovations, rearranging the apartment, traveling, try a new hobby, too. Basically, if you follow all 9 points above, you will feel better. Many people at this stage stop working to improve their well-being and consider themselves cured. But I, as a psychologist, recommend that you continue to work, specifically psychological, which will help you see some patterns or scenarios in building relationships, which in subsequent relationships can lead to a breakup and even greater disappointment in the relationship; get rid of the feelings of guilt and resentment towards your ex-partner (if you don’t get rid of these feelings, they will suck your energy, all unprocessed feelings are a heavy burden that makes it more difficult to go through life). I still recommend working on the topic of relationships with a psychologist, so that the situation does not repeat itself in future relationships. Work with a psychologist may include the following topics: Working through difficult feelings associated with a completed relationship (resentment, guilt, anger, sadness, disappointment, etc.). 2. Work with the image of “I”, with self-esteem, acceptance of yourself and your body. 3. Elaboration of attitudes and beliefs learned in childhood related to relationships with the opposite sex, which do not serve to create healthy relationships. Replacing inappropriate attitudes and beliefs with new, appropriate ones.4. Working through vivid childhood traumas that were retraumatized in a completed relationship that prevents you from living happily now. 5. Finding out needs that were not met before meeting the person. What need did your ex fill? 6. We find a way out of the state of being a victim of circumstances and learn to take responsibility for our lives upon ourselves, we leave the state of “I am a child”, “I am a mother”, and come to the state of “I am an adult”. 7. Training in techniques for self-regulation, self-soothing, stress relief, and falling asleep quickly. 8. Training in non-violent communication techniques through “I-message”, with which you will achieve greater understanding and impact than through manipulative communication. 9. Analysis of relationships, learning from experience, drawing a lesson for the future so that the same patterns of behavior are not repeated in new relationships. 10. Work with the transformation of the scenario of relationships with the opposite sex.11. We remember about ourselves and our dreams, get to know our real desires and feelings, make plans for the future, prescribe specific steps to achieve your goals and self-realization.