Lesson 3. “6 steps to high female self-esteem” How to put yourself first in your life? In the last post (https://www.b17.ru/article/322105/) we discussed how to love and accept yourself unconditionally, how to increase your sense of self-worth. But what to do if the issue of self-esteem in one way or another from time to time interferes with your plans: prevents you from enjoying life and accepting yourself, forces you to settle for less, or, on the contrary, do more than the situation requires of you, forces you to constantly prove to others that you are okay, doing things to the detriment of your own interests instills in the soul the fear of not being up to par, envy of other people’s successes, fear of criticism, the feeling that I can’t cope... All these questions arise due to the fact that the focus of many people’s attention is not on themselves, but is shifted to others. Instead use your resources of time, energy, effort, money, resources of your abilities, acquired skills, etc. in order to improve and change something in their life, to do something for themselves... they waste all this wealth to please others... And they try to make a good impression as kind and good people. And they do a lot for this - they decide other people’s questions and try to please: their friends, parents, children, colleagues... And they don’t see what a trap they themselves are in. Because, for example, it’s the children who have to please you and prove that they are good, and not you who have to prove to them that you are good mom. Because children are guided by “I want”, and you must translate their behavior into “expedient”. You are older and responsible for them. This means that they must try to make their mother approve of them. And not the other way around. If you are afraid of being a “bad” mother, “bad” in the eyes of other people, expect that the child and the people around you will turn into demanding monsters - manipulators based on your feelings of guilt. What will this lead to? Who will you do better for? Who will control your life? Are you ready to entrust your life to your child, your mother, and hand it over completely to your man? Are they themselves ready for such responsibility? For whom do I live? This is a question that will help you regain the palm in your life. Yes, the fear of criticism may be due to the fact that in your parental family you were often criticized and not in your favor. And it’s even possible that your parents got personal and told you, “You’re bad!” etc. Or one of the teachers did this, someone from a significant environment for you. And therefore the “you need to be good” mechanism was formed. In which, on the one hand, there is a huge distrust of people, that they will not accept you, will not understand , they will not cope with their problem themselves. On the other hand, you give them enormous power over yourself, so that they can criticize you and hurt you deeply. Therefore, if you are worried about someone: that someone will say the wrong thing or think badly about you, that you are not justifying someone’s expectations - parents, children, friends, society... etc. This means that in these moments you live for the sake of these people, and not for yourself. If this was the case in childhood, then now, in theory, you should live for yourself, and not for those around you .And this re-evaluation in your favor must happen if you want to live an interesting, fulfilled and happy life, in which there is a place for a relationship with a worthy man, a favorite job, financial freedom, creativity, etc. A re-evaluation of “Who am I living for” must take place ? For yourself or for others?” If the choice is in your favor, then it will be easier for you to do what you like and you will be less afraid of the opinions of others and criticism. But if you make a choice to live in favor of your child, husband, parents. - get ready for tragedy. A good value system in which a person comes first. Many have heard about it, but in practice not very many people live by it. Because in life “living for someone” is actually very many benefits. One of them is the quick satisfaction of a sense of self-worth. After all, when you do something for others, for example, give alms, you have not achieved any achievement (give a coin!