From a letter to me on the site: “Olga Yuryevna, good afternoon! This is my situation. I have a friend, we have known each other for about six months, thanks to her, I found a specialist to treat my child. She is a very smart and interesting person. I would like to continue communicating with her. And now the crux of the matter. Not so long ago, it means, she calls me and invites me to visit her. The agenda is this: she has become a co-owner of an online store and therefore invites me to a meeting with interested people, where the products of this store will be discussed. I have free time and I agreed. I came, there were still girls there. In general, network marketing. Well-known manufacturer. But these products are expensive - not everyone can afford them. It is very high quality, if I had the income to buy this product, I would buy it! In general, in the conversation they offer me to be a representative, they explain that, in principle, there is nothing special to do. Me: “Since it’s not necessary, we can try.” They gave me the CDs (I never listened to them) and parted ways, meeting again a couple of days later. And she and another girl (mentor) told me: “Make a list of 100 people. You just call your friends and say...” They give me a text to memorize. I’m confused - some kind of text... mmmmm... I won’t be able to say such a text to my friends (and most of them are not just acquaintances to me!). In general, I didn’t notice how I was sucked in or something... It’s somehow inconvenient to say that I can’t do this... When I sit with them and talk, they talk so interestingly - well, I “buy it”... If I say that I can’t, they assure: “You can!” .How can I clearly indicate my position (that I have changed my mind)? I don’t want to spoil my relationship with this girl... Hmm... although people come and go into our lives for the sake of experience... something like this) Thank you for the opportunity to contact you!” Elena, 33 years old (housewife) Good afternoon, Elena ! Thank you for your trust. Let's figure it out. The situation, if I understood correctly from your letter, is as follows: there is a person to whom you are grateful for something and with whom you want to continue communicating, but you do not want to accept his offer to work in network marketing. Now the question is how to structure a conversation in order to refuse an offer and maintain a friendly relationship. Elena, let’s first understand that refusing an offer from a person, even the closest one, does not at all mean breaking off relations with him. “I want to communicate with you, but I have no desire to engage in network marketing. I don’t want to, my soul is not in this business,” I think this thought (if you agree with it) can be conveyed to your friend. It is advisable to say this one on one, in a private conversation, politely and firmly, without an apologetic tone. If she takes your refusal to work as an insult and is offended, then this is her personal business. You are not omnipotent, and you are unlikely to be able to influence her choice. If the relationship continues, be prepared that, perhaps, offers for work in network marketing will continue to come to you from her - tempting and attractive. Refusing an offer means that you don’t want to do something and that’s all. About why you don’t want to, you don’t have to explain anything to anyone or make excuses. Now there is no firmness and determination in your refusals to do this work - instead of a straightforward answer, you come up with excuses, come to meetings again, although you know for sure that you will be there again they will persuade you to work. Your friend feels it. In a conversation with her, you say that you cannot engage in this activity, and her task is to convince you that you can. This is what she does. If you rephrase it as “I don’t want,” then there will be much fewer arguments to persuade you to take action, you will agree. It is possible to assure a person that he can, but not that he wants to. The question is, do you really not want to? Before the conversation, sort out your feelings - answer the following questions: Why am I embarrassed?