From the author: The metro as a part of the life of Muscovites. If you count how much time a person spends in the subway, I think it will be more than one year of his life. How to be in the present and use this time of day to live fully, how to fill the inner silence and how to face yourself. The reason you perceive death with horror is because you are not living in the present. Stan Keleman You said that came to look. I have nothing to give you except knowledge of how to search, but you think that you already know how to do it. Idris Shah. How many thoughts are in your head, how many doubts and worries, running after a dream, dissatisfaction with yourself, searching for meaning, and, if you like, simple human happiness. If you are lucky enough to stop for a second of happiness, this is life?! Understanding what is happening as a vicious circle, a spiral that carries the life of each of us according to some unknown laws of the universe. This goes on day after day. Flight from oneself is especially clearly and clearly realized in the metropolis, the city of dreams and the city of endless worries. The metro is like a pause, sometimes long awaited, and sometimes forcedly painful. A pause is silence, a stop, a moment of truth. My thoughts about me in this world meet with me in the present. Of course, if I’m lucky, and I don’t treacherously run away from myself, so habitually opening a book, a magazine, picking up a miracle technology. What if you suddenly managed to meet yourself? It is very important at this moment to pay attention to how you feel right now. Do you enjoy reading the book you hold in front of you? Maybe you are bored and this is your way of structuring time, spending time replacing you with something possible, but not happening. For example, a meeting with ourselves, although many confuse this meeting with internal chewing gum, when we simply chew on the events of the day, stuck in some of its moments, often unpleasant. Are you aware that you may be avoiding feelings that have been stored in you for so long? Avoidance is an action that requires energy expenditure. Thus, a baby born into the world has a free consciousness, but over time learns to block it based on his own experience or under the influence of upbringing in the parental family. Blocking your own consciousness is self-manipulation. (In fact, I no longer know what I want, I was taught to want, I have lost contact with my desire). This avoidance of self-awareness manifests itself in activities that are remotely related to real needs. To somehow explain what kind of activity this is, I’ll give an example. I play computer games at any free moment of time, by and large, without getting the pleasure that I had before, I play on the machine just to keep myself busy. This way of structuring time gradually turns into a habit as soon as we cease to realize that we are really avoiding something (meeting ourselves, our experiences, anxiety, doubts, fears, etc.). By blocking awareness, we lose vital energy, preventing the emergence of a natural reaction to the world in which we live. If, for example, we refuse to see situations that make us angry, then we will never get angry. Thus, losing part of yourself, becoming one-sided, comfortable, and, ultimately, emotionally crippled. Boredom, lifelessness, fear, a feeling of loneliness - all this is a manifestation of being outside of awareness. We have a chance to enrich our existence if we develop the skills to track our sensations, feelings, needs and desires that lead us to ourselves. By taking the risk of meeting ourselves through awareness of our feelings and the needs behind them, there is a chance to feel: " I create my own life." And this is worth a lot. Previously, I was afraid that by showing my pain points, I would become weaker, but this fear turned out to be groundless, and I learned to believe in myself. I believe that I can do almost anything if I just want it. I have learned to be patient with my disappointments and to see.