After the birth of children, the husband and wife do not so much cease to be spouses, but rather acquire a much greater quality of relationship and new “roles” for each other. They become father and mother. And “parenthood” between husband and wife becomes a test of the strength of their relationship: -you need to take care of a new person, -mom and baby, and dad provides more care for the family, -everyday life can begin to fall apart at the seams, Because a “third” person appears in the relationship, and this cannot be changed back in any way. And if you are not ready people to this, then reproaches arise in communication from the wife: - I’m tired and don’t get enough sleep, - I don’t get enough help from you, - I don’t have time for myself, - I want affection and intimacy, - I’ve already forgotten all my girlfriends, - give I have one day off. And my husband, in turn, can also express dissatisfaction: - you’re somehow in no mood and not affectionate, - and there’s nothing to eat in the house, - your child is dirty and screaming, - you’ve stopped being my wife. Yes, and this happens. I understand that here a husband can speak in the language of an “offended child” who was no longer given a “pacifier”; they used to give it to him, but now they don’t. “Who am I for her after all, why is care from my wife now not for me?” A huge insult to life, because no one expected such a “catch” of new difficulties between husband and wife. The birth of a child has already happened and it’s going nowhere. He’s already in the family. So what should you do? - Try to understand that not only you, but also your loved one is also experiencing this for the first time. Maybe in the second one. But in any case, this changes the relationship a lot. - For men - when you have free time, give support and more free time to your mother, because some mothers can be with a child in their arms for up to a year. And this is very difficult. - Think about it in such a way that you can return to past daily routines, perhaps fit your hobbies into your free time. - Change the “picture” if possible and do not focus only on the role of mother. Also a wife, and a woman, and an interesting person. Remember that in a relationship you don’t need to choose one thing. Children are growing up. And the husband and wife remain if they do not have time to divorce by the time the children grow up. Learn from each other, because no one knows what is right to do for a particular family. Thanks to everyone who discusses this topic with me. Whoever is interested in my article - subscribe and read more on my page. See you! Alexander Rudenko, psychotherapist, Sign up for a consultation: https://mssg.me/rudenko_psy+ 7(911)0119995 ( viber/wats up) My telegram channel: https://t.me/ psyches