In one of the previous articles, I talked about the little person who lives inside each of us. This is our inner child. But besides the child, there are several more personalities inside us, and this is logical, because if we lived only by emotions, then this would not lead to anything good. Someone makes adult decisions? So, today we’ll talk about another side of our personality: PARENT. Who is it and where does it come from? A parent is a huge collection in the brain of records of indisputable or imposed external events perceived by a person in the first years of his life, i.e. until about 5 years old. In his PARENT, the child records the statements of his own parents or people replacing them. All the actions of the parents observed by the child and everything said by them and heard by the child is recorded under the heading PARENT. The most important thing is that these records are accepted without verification, as a truth that the child is not able to verify or refute. The PARENT records all the rules and laws that the child heard from his parents and observed them in his own life. They start from the perception of intonation, facial expression, affection or lack thereof to direct verbal rules and addresses. There are thousands of “no” and “no” addressed to a child who has just begun to walk. There are also rules that a child needs to protect him from danger. These records are stored in the soul (brain, psyche) of the child and are activated (turned on) when he becomes an adult at any moment. Typical statements in the style of a PARENT: “don’t take a knife - you’ll cut yourself”, “you can’t lie”, “you’re already big and it’s time for you…”, “good girls wash the dishes after themselves”, “you should never trust a man (woman)”, etc. (Thomas Harris “I’m okay, you’re okay”). The usefulness of a parent is that he protects from many dangers and teaches polite communication with the environment, teaches morality in society, teaches how to act in certain situations in a certain way (how to make the bed, how to hammering nails, how to blow your nose, how to decorate a Christmas tree, etc.). The danger and negative consequences of a parent is that, as a rule, he writes down more restrictions and prohibitions than permissions. And since the child cannot check all of them, because... very dependent on an adult, he has to obey and this, to some extent, “breaks” the child’s will, his thirst for knowledge and the formation of his own experience. When we grow up, these records are activated and often become an irresistible force of habit that forces us to live the way Our parents said or taught us to live as is customary for someone or someone, but not as we ourselves think is right or as we want. And we often understand our mistakes and blunders, but we continue to act the same way, because we are used to it, we were taught this way, it’s accepted and we simply don’t know how to do it any other way. The stronger the PARENT was (the more and stricter the prohibitions and rules from childhood) in our parents, the more we wrote into our PARENT before the age of 5, and the more strongly it manifests itself in communicating with our children here and now. Hence our readings of “morals” for disobedience and lectures on how to behave, complaints and lamentations to friends about our “rascal”. What to do with such a powerful and strong PARENT who suppresses the will of the child? It is important to determine which of your prejudices and worldviews, opinions about people are taken from childhood. Take them out, revise them, reformulate them into a more modern attitude or opinion, taking into account your own experience. In addition, there is another personal structure that is engaged in checking the PARENT’s records for importance, necessity and truthfulness. Read about it in the next article.