How to stop devaluing yourself? Often we don’t even notice how we do this to ourselves and others, because this is already a habitual way. Devaluation is a psychological defense mechanism in which a person downplays the significance of the people around him, as well as their actions, or himself and his actions. Any psychological defense is designed to stop some actual experience, since the psyche regards it as harmful to its integrity. Devaluation protects us from unbearable feelings. And sometimes from imaginary dangerous conditions that once, in childhood, were really difficult to bear. Now this may not be the case at all, but the psyche works as before. For example, we don’t really understand what to do with sadness and then we devalue the loss of something - “we didn’t really want it.” Or it’s difficult to experience the success of another (and maybe disappointment in yourself or envy) and then devaluation comes to the rescue again - “yes, this is all bullshit, no one needs it, it’s deception, it’s not interesting.” Or it’s difficult to cope with anxiety and uncertainty and then it’s better to devalue yourself so as not to start anything - “for me nothing will work out, and who am I, I can’t.” We learned this, of course, in childhood. From parents and environment. Gradually, as we grew up, the appropriation of parental attitudes and parental attitudes towards us occurred. We become for ourselves the kind of parents we had. If we were devalued, then we become just as devaluing towards ourselves and others. So how can we stop devaluing ourselves? The first thing we need is to learn to notice that I am devaluing myself. It is also possible through detecting the devaluation of others, because if I devalue everyone around me, then I most likely treat myself the same. If you often criticize others, are dissatisfied with yourself and others, feel failures and it seems to you that nothing is working out - most likely this is about devaluation. You can try to develop a new habit. Don’t focus on what didn’t work out, but notice what works. And also learn to deal with all your experiences and feelings, meet them and live them. Of course, it’s best to do this not alone, but with a psychotherapist.