The topic of PEDOPHILIA is now very much discussed. Many people believe that pedophiles are mostly men, but as a psychologist, in my work I often encounter such cases as: a daughter in her father’s bed is pedophilia, and a son in his mother’s bed is love and care. I wonder where the public classifies such cases as: a daughter sleeping with her parents until she was 12 years old, wiping her butt until she was 8 years old, a single mother washing her 14-year-old son, a single mother forcing a massage on her teenage son, breastfeeding a child until she was 3-5 years old. , a father entering the bathroom, where a 20-year-old daughter is taking a shower, or a mother entering her teenage son’s room without knocking, and other cases of interpersonal relationships in the family. Representatives of many areas of psychology and psychotherapy would call this: incestuous relationships, disability of a child, violation of personal boundaries of children, etc. Yes it is, and at the same time it is PEDOPHILIA. And it happens at the child’s home. AND THIS IS WORTH THINKING ABOUT. Now I would like to move on to the pedophiles who wait for our children on the street, in kindergarten and school, in sports and entertainment institutions. They can be divided into two groups: “soft” and “rough”. “Soft” are those who receive their victims with love, affection, attention, interest, and even to some extent respect or satisfying the needs of the victim. Here a joke comes to mind: “What is the difference between a teacher and a pedophile? The pedophile really loves children!” “Soft” pedophiles almost all show interest and attention to the needs, interests, hobbies and hobbies of their victims. They often offer candy, ice cream, or to see or pick up a kitten (puppy). And the children respond. WHY? Because there is a NEED for love, affection, attention and the manifestation of love, affection and attention. Many psychologists know that a happy child, who is loved and loved, needs sweets less, that sweets are oral pleasure, and a happy child no longer needs to satisfy oral pleasure after 2 years, he RECEIVES PLEASURE IN OTHER WAYS. The need to receive and give love, affection and attention in happy families is also satisfied, in contrast to emotionally “cold” families, where it is not customary to show emotions. So we then often see that, in essence, the pedophile satisfies the needs of the child: he paid attention to him, offered him pleasure from sweets or from contemplating and stroking a small animal, caressed the child and the child is READY AND GOES for such a person anywhere. WHY? Because THE NEED WANTS TO BE SATISFIED, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS NOT ALONE. Another problem for victims of pedophiles is VIOLATED PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. This phenomenon is often observed in children from disadvantaged families; you saw examples of this at the beginning of the article. And what we see is that there are no boundaries or they are very small, but there is a NEED and it is big. And before us is a potential VICTIM. Therefore, the less a child receives warmth, affection, attention, respect and interest in his affairs, feelings, emotions, interests, hobbies in the family, the sooner he can become a VICTIM. Moreover, the VICTIM is not only a pedophile, but ANY OFFENDER. An experiment was once conducted in an American prison: criminals convicted of serious charges (murder, rape, robbery, fraud, etc.) were shown a recording of a demonstration and asked the question: “IF YOU WERE FREE AND DECIDED TO COMMIT A CRIME AGAIN, WHICH ONE OF THIS WOULD YOU CHOOSE DEMONSTRATIONS AS A SACRIFICE? The question was asked to everyone one by one, but the choice of all the criminals fell on the same people participating in the demonstration on videotape. In my practice, a client had a clear example: when she was 6 years old, she met TWO pedophiles within 30 minutes of each other. The first one sat down next to her in the cinema and began to slowly stroke her, she liked it and she sat in place without offering any resistance, but then the cartoon was interrupted (the film reel cut off) and she went home. And at the entrance to her, another man jumped into the elevator and began to sharply and rudely pester her, but she had already rebuffed him..