#question for a psychologist At one of the course classes, I received a personal question from a participant. I decided to share it, since I often receive similar requests. I shortened the text a little “I realized that I was underestimating my merits, however, when I tried treating myself like a cool and cool person, I begin to feel uncomfortable, as thoughts arise that:➡️ I praise myself too much,➡️ I’m afraid of losing a sober attitude towards myself and my actions,➡️ I feel like I’m somehow narcissistic, self-praising. I understand that this is most likely out of habit, but this circumstance still bothers me. There is a feeling of some kind of block inside, as if something is preventing me from accepting myself, my uniqueness and coolness. Even now I feel awkward. I would like to ask you. advice: what do I need to do to remove this block, how can I better work out my vision of myself and my own self-esteem in order to really increase it to an excellent level?” This is what I answered: “This often happens when we are used to underestimating ourselves, criticizing , then it’s not immediately possible to treat yourself differently. I want to clarify that it is important to adequately evaluate yourself. For example: “Yes, I have something that I don’t like about myself, but I will work on it. I don’t scold myself, I don’t condemn myself, but I understand that this is the point of my growth. But I have a lot of good things.” We have a habit of noticing things in ourselves that we don’t like. Try not just to think that I’m cool, but to see your strengths and focus on them. Learn to approve of yourself for showing those qualities , which you consider good for yourself, notice it and compliment yourself. Support yourself with words. How to do this? For example: - you overcame some fear, did something you were satisfied with; - got up on time, and did not remain lying down for a long time. in bed after the alarm went off; - did exercises; - cleaned the apartment; - did something that had been put off for a long time; - helped a friend solve a problem; - restrained himself during a quarrel and, instead of the habit of proving that you were right, calmly listened to the other. Strive to notice all these moments and say out loud or in a whisper: “I’m great, now I’ve coped with... I managed to do things differently! Super! I’m very happy for myself!” Such a simple action, but it’s an opportunity to give yourself support, and not expect it from others. If you feel some awkwardness, then say: “I’m LEARNING to approve of myself and I have something to praise myself for! After all, many of my qualities helped me cope with difficulties in life." We replace narcissism with joy for our successes, for ourselves. Gradually, over and over again, the block will weaken. The unusual will become familiar." Low self-esteem: where does it come from and what to do with it? It’s difficult to solve a problem with one message, but direction can be given. In this situation, the guy took advantage of the recommendations, got inspired and began to act. In combination with the course "The Art of Communication", which he is currently taking, the result will be. Sign up for a consultation by phone, whatsapp +7 921 416 24 30