From the author: Sometimes a new mother faces such questions that she can easily get confused and react to the problem inappropriately and untimely. For example, how to correctly resolve a dispute in a sandbox and keep kids calm in a conflict situation? After all, the best experience for all participants is an honest and fair way to share the “trophy” without tears and whims. One of the options Let's imagine a rather “ordinary” situation. Almost all kids periodically find themselves in such stories. Participants in the conflict: local children of one or two years old and an unfamiliar kindergartener, 4.5 years old, who came to visit his grandparents. Main action: the older child shows off his new car to the kids. Some children calmly ignore the stranger, but some persistently reach for a new object and, not receiving the desired trophy, begin to cry without paying attention to anything. The eldest child does not want to share the car and does not allow anyone to hold it in their hands, explaining his behavior by the “expensiveness” of the brand new Ferrari. The children cry “out loud”, not accepting any explanations and not paying attention to other toys. Mothers are trying to reason with their one-year-olds and two-year-olds, explaining to them that happiness does not lie in toys, but they cannot find suitable phrases and distract the children. The irritant stands calmly and does not leave, and teasing even more in front of all the children only adds fuel to the fire. The situation is complicated by the fact that the grandparents of the owner of the car do not interfere in the dispute, but only watch from the side as their grandson teases and becomes greedy and brings kids to tears. They justify their behavior by the fact that the grandson is an adult enough, let him decide for himself whether to share or not. The friendly participation of familiar mothers does not help distract the kids. Final: after waiting until the children finally burst into tears, the wise grandparents proudly take the stranger home. At the same time, they loudly comment that children cry for reasons they do not understand and that in general children are terrible crybabies and whimsical, could not find any other fun. Analysis of the situation At the beginning of unpleasant communication, the mothers’ mistake was that they were unable to distract their child’s attention in time without causing the baby to tears. In addition to calming down your child, you also had to shame the kindergartener. If his family did not intervene in the situation, at least someone should have explained to the child that it was impossible to behave this way. Moreover, the children did not even try to take the toy away, but only asked to play a little. Of course, we don’t have the right to raise someone else’s child, but at the same time, we simply have to defend the interests of our baby. I think of words like: “You’re already an adult boy, kids don’t take your toy away, they just ask you to play a little. And you should be ashamed that you were greedy and didn’t want to share,” would do. It is a pity that there was no toy at hand that could interest the older child. There were only shovels and molds in the sandbox. Although, in any case, it would be difficult to compete on price with a new branded toy... Many children, in the place of an adult kindergartener, would still share with younger children. The kindergartener's grandparents are right in their own way, why should their child share with strangers children with a new expensive toy? Opinion of an authoritative specialist. Experienced psychologist Lyudmila Ovsyanik comments on the situation in the sandbox. – You shouldn’t interfere in children’s squabbles until the child becomes hysterical or aggressive, if the child is under 3 years old, and if older, then you can already talk with them about morality and influence if he behaves immorally - teases or provokes. If grandparents saw the situation of a crying baby, they could talk to their grandson or immediately take him away from the playground. The mother of the youngest child needed to take the baby in her arms and remove him from this playground. More options (in pictures): The child takes away someone else’s toy, A quarrel arises between the children. How can a mother help resolve a conflict peacefully? Conclusions As we see, the answers are on the surface and comfort in the sandbox should be regulated to a greater extent.