Things don't always go smoothly in relationships, and that's generally normal. However, discontent often develops into conflict and abuse. This is of course unpleasant, but in general it is also normal. As the ancients said, “Truth is born in dispute.” But another snag arises: you also need to be able to swear and argue, especially in relationships. Let's look at 3 serious mistakes that are often made in relationships. 1) Scandal is used as a tool for gaining power. It is not uncommon in a toxic relationship to encounter a situation where one of the partners feels a thirst for power and strength, and for some reason such a person believes your own relationships are an excellent field for satisfying such a need. It is quite easy for such people to assert themselves at the expense of their partner, because people in relationships are quite vulnerable. How to fix it? Ask yourself the following questions: - Why do you need power? -What will the loss of power mean to you? -Why, for the sake of this goal, are you ready to hurt fairly close and important people in your life? 2) Scandal is constantly avoided. Some relationships are difficult to consider as toxic, simply because nothing toxic seems to be happening in them. But upon closer examination, it turns out that in such relationships an interesting phenomenon occurs, the hushing up of scandal and conflict. It seems as if it never happens. But conflict does not occur, because for one of the partners the very idea of ​​conflict already causes stress. It turns out interesting when one of the partners is afraid to start a scandal, and the second, knowing about this feature, begins to use it to his advantage. How to fix it? Understand that a dispute does not mean that you or your relationship is bad. Learn to express your dissatisfaction with words. An effective move would be to use the “Dear Man” technique; I wrote another note about it not long ago. 3) A scandal has no boundaries. This is probably the most common mistake. How to understand that it is happening to you? During a scandal, hysterics, physical violence occur, objects fly around the room, etc. I would call this the active phase of a toxic scandal. But if there is an active phase, then there is also a passive phase. It looks like a continuation of the scandal, but after the actual scandal. There are already enough banal reminders of the dispute. How to fix it? It’s like in student times, when you wrote term papers and diplomas. Remember that a healthy conflict always has a subject, an object, goals, objectives and methods. And most importantly, the conflict must have a place and time. Without the first criteria, it will be swearing without meaning. Without the second criteria, your scandal will spread out in an even thin layer throughout your life, and will most likely lead to separation. In any case, this article is just first aid for people with such problems. You can deal with them completely only if -> Make an appointment with me for a consultation via: Telegram Whatsapp or just by calling +7-916-542-64-49