The problem of difficult childhood, childhood traumas, is so often raised in psychology, including because what was in childhood, unfortunately, does not remain in it, continuing to influence our adult life. Everyone has an understanding of this most difficult childhood different, as are the real consequences, but the behavior patterns of parents leading to psychological trauma in their children are similar. Thus, a difficult childhood is often associated with oppression of the child, humiliation, and devaluation. “Nobody asked your opinion,” “go into the room, don’t disturb,” “when you grow up, then you will open your mouth” are just a few examples of phrases that parents may consider them justified and completely harmless, while such phrases cause irreparable harm to the child’s psyche. Yes, when you hear “difficult childhood” or “childhood trauma,” the first thing you imagine is a really difficult life: alcoholic parents, poverty, violence. But in reality, the family can be quite, as they say, ordinary, quite wealthy and decent, and the parents are good-natured and more than fit into the concept of normal, but sometimes they allow themselves to have a row and lash out at their children. And the child’s psyche, again, is so unpredictable that these few episodes can affect the child more than decades in a family of asocial people will affect another child. So what should you do if you’ve already grown up, but seem to be unable to let go of your childhood? and become happy? Pay attention to your inner child, give him what he did not receive in childhood. And the first thing you need to do is pay attention to the fact that, having become an adult, you have become for yourself the source of negativity that previously was yours. parents. It is quite possible that your inner voice, which so often loves to scold you, is the voice of your mother. But in childhood, your mother was real and you were unlikely to be able to influence her, but now, using her image, you are causing suffering to yourself. You should learn to separate the thoughts that are truly yours from those that your relatives actually put into you. You need to leave parental aggression in childhood, stop replaying it in your head, stop destroying yourself. The second thing you need to do is allow yourself to experience emotions, and in addition, track and analyze them. The inner child will begin to test the boundaries, and it will not be surprising if this happens so that your loved ones will not appreciate what is happening, and will not understand, for example, why you began to allow yourself to raise your voice. Everything is like in childhood. As they say, “what can he allow himself to do?” The most important thing to remember is that childhood is already over, and you are now the rightful master of your own life..