From the author: Register for Julia Portland’s new money trainings here: “Why do your parents need renovations? You can just change the furniture.” The idea of ​​how to distribute income usually comes from the parental family. Rarely do families at the beginning of their existence agree on a new (not like the parents) distribution scheme. But if they argued about purchases at the dawn of family life, most likely this will always be the case. Should I get a fur coat or should I buy a computer? Renovation or just change furniture? New car or expand your apartment? Money to the bank at interest or buy an apartment and rent it out? It often happens that at the initial stage one spouse gives in to the other, but holds back the offense and remembers this until the opportunity arises. The longer spouses live in a place, the more violent the battles can be. Why? Because the issue is not about money, but about dominance. Budgeting and managing the distribution of money is a family power. And if the wife grew up in a family where the mother was domineering and everything was in her hands, it is very likely that she will build relationships in the same way in her family. If both want to dominate the family, these clashes will be constant and increasingly violent. SOLUTION TO THE SITUATION: Start with what is important to you: family and relationships with this person or the desire to “win at any cost”? If you want to save your family, then understand for yourself that the most important thing in your life, what you will really insist on (continuation of education, the opportunity to have a separate room, free movement outside of public transport) - this is something different for everyone. And then other decisions about purchases and investments can be made more calmly and concessions can be made. Discuss the order. When the confrontation stops, it becomes possible to discuss something without emotions. After all, it often happens that, having insisted on his own, the spouse no longer believes that this is the right decision. He cannot and is not ready to simply retreat (lose)! If you need to dominate, then decide for yourself why you take it out on your spouse at home? Maybe look for a more responsible leadership job? Maybe you will understand that you are valuable in yourself, and not only when you “defeated someone”... Think.