Relatives and friends of alcoholics and drug addicts in most cases begin to depend on and suffer from the deviant and destructive behavior of their relative. Most often, there is a desire to help, to do everything so that a person gets rid of his addiction. In such families there are two problems - the bad habit of one (alcoholism, drug addiction) and the codependency of another family member. The relatives of an alcoholic or drug addict are so passionate about the problems of their relative that they always suffer too. They do not live a full life because their life is completely built around a loved one who suffers from addiction. This behavior of codependent family members is based on formed defense mechanisms, which are very difficult to eliminate. Why does codependency form? It is important to note that not everyone develops codependency. A person becomes dependent on the behavior and mood of another if he has a tendency towards this, which usually begins in childhood. Codependent people have low self-esteem; they vitally need to take care of someone. In the implementation of such care lies the need for self-realization at the expense of another. A distinctive feature of a codependent person is their thinking: they do not understand that one can love just like that; on the contrary, they believe that the love of another person is deserved only through some kind deeds, through self-sacrifice. In the event that a small child ( 2-3 years) are not allowed to show their feelings (cry, get angry), then a deformed perception of the world around them is formed, and the formation of inadequate self-esteem is also laid down. Already at this age, a person’s subconscious understands that one cannot show one’s feelings, this is bad. As adults, such people have an increased sense of responsibility for the behavior of another person. They also always react sharply to other people's opinions about them. The mood and entire life of codependent people always depends on the actions and behavior of the dependent relative. How to free yourself from codependency? Doing it on your own is too difficult. To achieve results, psychotherapy is required for a long time. Sincerely, Your psychotherapist, coach, interpersonal relationship specialist, Natalya Akhmedova