From the author: “pie” technique to get rid of guilt Guilt is a common feeling in our culture. It is heavy, difficult to bear, you want to hide from it, it is often the cause of depression. One possible reason for this feeling is egocentric overgeneralization. This article will propose a way to correct this strategy using the “pie” technique. First, let's figure out what egocentric overgeneralization is. The word “egocentric” in itself can cause feelings of guilt....in our culture for a long time it was accepted to educate with a feeling of guilt, the lack of personal boundaries... anything related to any emphasis on oneself, and even caring for oneself, was often considered selfish , ugly, because “you have to think about the people around you”... but about this, perhaps, in the following articles... In reality, there is an abyss of difference between selfishness and egocentrism. Is a child giving you his favorite toy selfish? Of course not. But, as a rule, this same child is self-centered. He looks at the world only from his own perspective and does not understand that, in general, his toy is of no value to you. He gives you his treasure, thinking that it is just as precious to you. He is not at all an egoist, and at the same time he is egocentric. Egocentric overgeneralizations bring people only negative experiences. A person sees the reason for the events happening to his loved ones only in himself. The quintessence of this strategy may be the phrase: “This happened because of me and only because of me.” “It” is usually something negative and difficult to correct. Naturally, feeling such responsibility, a person will experience a strong feeling of guilt. Examples of egocentric overgeneralizations can be: “It’s because of me that my son studies so poorly,” “It’s my fault that she/he left me,” “I ruined his/her life”, “My parents got divorced because of me”, “It’s only my fault that...(fill in as appropriate)”. In fact, it is absolutely natural that many factors take part in every event, and who -one person cannot be entirely to blame for something. As with many problems in cognitive psychotherapy, egocentric overgeneralizations are worked according to the following scheme: “unfold” the established way of reacting – explore and change it – turn it into a new way of responding. I propose one of possible techniques for “unfolding” overgeneralizations. I thought about the example for a long time. It may be a little “out of touch” with the world, but it is understandable, and with its help you can easily explain the technique without going into details of the context of the situation. For example, let’s take the generalization “It’s because of me that my son got such a bad grade on the exam”1. Identify all participants in this event: You, son, spouse, teachers. Think about it: Did the teachers at school who taught your son somehow influence his success in this subject? Who else influenced your son’s success in one way or another? Make a list.2. Draw a “pie” - a circle. Determine the share of responsibility for the result of each of the participants, excluding you. Does your son bear any share of responsibility for this? He was preparing for an exam, he was writing or answering. How much he knew or remembered is his result. After all, the head on his shoulders belongs to him. Let's say his share of responsibility is 55 percent. “Cut” a piece of your son’s “responsibility pie.” Let's now take on the teacher: He taught your son throughout the preparation, he assessed him, in the end, perhaps, in the morning of that day he got up on the wrong foot! Let's say his share of participation is 25 percent. “Cut off” his “piece” of responsibility. Do the same with all participants in this event.3. Look at what's left of the pie. Can only you be entirely responsible for anything? Then why should you blame yourself? Formulate a conclusion that would take into account all factors, all participants and would be truthful - you don’t need to deceive yourself or shield yourself, on the contrary, do.