Brief sketches from the Bodynamic concept of personality development. In this flow, there are 7 stages of child development from the womb to adolescence: 1. right to exist (2nd trimester - 3 months from birth)2. the right to have needs (1 month - 1.5 years)3. the right to be autonomous (8 months - 2.5 years)4. the right to have intentions and to be direct and willful (structure of the will - 2-4 years)5. the right to experience love and sexual feelings (3-6 years)6. the right to have one’s own opinion (5-9 years old)7. the right, on the one hand, to be a full member of the group without being special, and on the other hand, to be able to act, shine and compete. (6-12 years) At each stage, a number of needs are naturally identified that must be satisfied for harmonious development. If something interferes with the satisfaction of these needs, because parents or social workers. the group cannot be tolerant of anything in the child, there is a “break in communication” in the sense of “I can be myself, and you can be yourself, and we can be together.” Then a defense is formed as a compromise that we make: “I will do this or refuse this in order to remain connected to you.” And in fact, these defenses in our body are reflected as muscle imbalance: Hyperresponse - when, when stretching a muscle, the average and with the index finger, as much as possible, the resistance of the muscle is felt, it “pushes out” our fingers and quickly returns back. Hyporesponse - under the same conditions, it seems that there is no resistance at all in the muscle, and the speed of its return is slower than the speed of stretching. Early position: the stress was quite strong or/and occurred at the beginning of formation. The resource was not received and appropriated. Late position: the stress was not intense and/or occurred in the late stages of formation. The resource is received and appropriated, the ability to resist develops. Well, a healthy position is a healthy position. Stage 1. right to existence (2nd trimester - 3 months from birth) Early position: mental position is characterized by care, removal from life Late position: emotional is characterized by escape into life Healthy position is characterized by a feeling of security of existence and belonging to the world. A person feels loved and accepted simply because he exists. There is also something that I noted that is important for myself, that, like Grof, here childbirth is given very great importance and the successful completion of at least part of the process (i.e. at least one of stages of labor) will be preserved as a resource, even if subsequent stages are traumatic. Stage 2. the right to have needs (1 month - 1.5 years) Early: Despair. The child cannot recognize needs and his own abilities to satisfy them. Late: Mistrust. The child confuses his needs. He is confident that others will not give him what he needs or will give him something that is not right. Healthy: Self-satisfaction. The child is able to identify his needs, act to satisfy them, and delay this gratification if necessary. Through interaction with the person caring for him, the child learns to recognize and differentiate his own needs, act to satisfy them, accept and absorb, feel satiated and cope with procrastination satisfaction. This process occurs in interaction, and a child of this age depends on a deep connection with an adult and accurate mirroring, which is necessary to give meaning to his internal sensations. The ability to recognize one's needs and act to satisfy them is one of the basic skills of the stage 3 ego. the right to be autonomous (8 months - 2.5 years) Early: Non-verbal change in activity. The child's own impulses and feelings are easily lost or never recognized. The child changes the focus of activity and attention without notifying other people about it. Late: Verbal change in activity. The child actively changes the focus of attention and conversation to avoid unpleasant feelings, especially feelingshelplessness.Healthy: Emotional autonomy. The child notices his impulses and feelings, recognizes them as his own and can act on them. Using the opportunity to move into the world at his own request, the child can achieve autonomy and independence. By exploring and practicing, the child learns to test his own sensations and the world around him with reality (that is, to check in practice whether his ideas about himself and what he can or cannot do in practice, because at the beginning of this process the child thinks that he is omnipotent and can do the same things as his significant others), establish a balance between security (a basic need) and adventure, as well as between his needs and the expectations of other people. At the interpersonal level: the child needs the help of his parents, but she often does not want they helped him. With overprotection, the child does not make any effort to master new skills or feels “overwhelmed” and suppressed by his parents. Conversely, if parents expect a child to be more independent than he is ready for, he will accelerate his pace of development in order to be accepted by his parents and may lead him to believe that he cannot ask for help, even when he needs it. In adulthood, people with an early position of Autonomy often passively resist changes and the choice of direction of activity. A person himself does not know what he wants. Late stage people are hyperactive, work in several places, belong to several clubs, have many friends, but at the same time lack centeredness and really close relationships. In fact, this structure is fundamental to understanding narcissistic and borderline personalities. Because the problem of the discrepancy between the image of what we can do and what we actually can do is often described as the problem of narcissism. At this stage, the child learns to recognize his emotions and separate them from the core self and from the events that cause these emotions. For a child, this means that other people cannot “take away” his feelings and impulses from him (for example, with the common phrase “don’t cheat, it doesn’t hurt you”), that both can change significantly without threatening the core of self.p.s. at this stage, the child needs freedom to try himself in different activities, so that his unrealistic vision of himself is not imprinted in the mind (reality testing) and support when he understands that he actually cannot pick up a vacuum cleaner and vacuum like his mother, so that it does not become imprinted the feeling that “I am not omnipotent and the world has collapsed.” Stage 4. the right to have intentions and to be direct and willful/will structure (2-4 years)Early: Self-sacrificing. The child gives up a sense of his own power and the ability to make choices in order to be pleasant and useful to other people. Late: Judgmental. The child feels that he controls himself, is his own master only when he is stronger than others. Judgment of others. Healthy: Self-confident. The child is comfortable acting using his own strength, and, at the same time, he is comfortable feeling the strength of other people. This stage is the time of learning to control and make choices. The child is focused on his ability to make choices and short-term planning, on exploring strength, will, instability, on forming judgments about what is good and what is bad. He is exploring whether he can feel loved and respected, and whether he continues to be loved and respected. respect those whom he contradicts. Confrontation usually involves what is commonly called "bad behavior," such as good or bad fighting and biting, which are typical expressions of anger at this age. The child learns that it is possible, and even normal, to experience simultaneously opposite feelings towards the same person and about the same phenomenon. At this stage, the formation of ego boundaries is completed. The functions of boundaries are to separate and protect the child (and what belongs to him) from the outside world and other people, as well as to conserve energy in hisbody and personality. Stage of strength and containment. A child may stubbornly retain a certain feeling, such as anger, whereas at an earlier age it would disappear and change over time. It also establishes ownership of toys and control over prohibited and permitted activities. A two-year-old will touch what is “not allowed”, knowing that it is prohibited. This is not a sign of disobedience at all. These are exercises in understanding, training willpower, choosing an independent direction of activity, independence, as well as challenging the boundaries of the mother and the container of safety provided by her. This external boundary of “NO” is extremely important for the development of a child’s own boundaries. Later, a child, doing something forbidden, will say no to himself (the role of a corrector of his behavior), and then to other adults. The main task for a child of this period is to master the power and ability to make a choice (motor skills are expressed in improving the skill of turning around, not stopping while running) The experience with the right to choose acquired at this age subsequently influences the choice of life direction and following the intended path of an adult. Stage 5. the right to experience love and sexual feelings (3-6 years) Early: Romantic. The child denies his sensuality and sexuality and identifies with romantic or cordial feelings. Late: Seductive. The child denies romantic and cordial feelings and identifies with sensuality and sexual feelings and actions. Healthy: Balance between love and sexuality. The child can feel one and/or the other and act on those feelings with appropriate consideration and concern for the other person. Gender-role identification, exploration and creation of containers and boundaries associated with love feelings and sexuality. This occurs through role-playing and body exploration games. Learning to establish a balance of love and sexual feelings, first and mainly with the parent of the opposite sex, then with other adults, and finally with peers. The child is able to perceive triadic relationships and is active in love triangles. He can jump on his parent and hang on him, holding on to him with his arms and legs. May sit clinging to a parent and become sexually/sensually aroused by this physical contact. Discovering hierarchies and trying to find his place in a relationship with two parents and other children in the family leads him to the question “Who do you love more, me or...?” The ideal arrangement is the following: the child is obviously of lower rank than mom and dad; he cannot pit one of them against the other; he has a unique relationship with each of them; he is loved by both and about equally with his brothers and sisters. It is in this state of affairs that the child will find physical and interpersonal balance and will be able to establish a balance between love and sexual feelings and their expression. If in a family love feelings are allowed, but sexual feelings are not, or vice versa, the child may begin to suppress the corresponding pole in the family. This will later lead to problems in adulthood, because... the repressed part is usually expressed unconsciously. Enjoying pleasant sensations in the genitals and discoveries in sex-role relationships, the child wants to share his discoveries with parents and other people. He needs his parents to respond to him with love, respect and clear boundaries. Each parent must reassure the child that he can never take the place of one of them, that his sexuality and gender are respected, but he will NOT explore them WITH THEM. At first, such a response from the parents will anger and offend the child, but then, feeling their care, he will be able to redirect his feelings to adult family friends. Having met the same reaction from them, he will already find the love of a child of the opposite regiment and a friend of the same sex. The most important thing at this stage is ACCEPTANCE of sexual fantasies and actions (which gives the child a feeling of what to do and feel it is NOT bad, butgood, but he will put this into practice later, when he grows up and he has “his own husband/wife, and he will have everything only later) Stage 6. the right to have his own opinion (5-9 years old) Early: Closed, gloomy. Child cannot form or articulate opinions and passively opposes the opinions of others. Late: Stubborn, overconfident Child identifies with being “right”, he will fight to maintain the correctness of his opinions. Healthy: Embodying opinions. his opinions and check them against reality. He can defend his opinion, he can give in or change his opinion when new facts appear. The child discovers that the people with whom he is connected may have different opinions and views on the world. At first he will compare these. opinions and choose those that give him the boundaries and the desired contact.In some games, he will change the rules in order to be the winner. Later, the child will recognize and form opinions that are consistent with what he considers right and fair. All this will eventually lead him to conflict, first of all, with his parents, since he, sometimes completely disagreeing with their opinions and rules, will at the same time strengthen his connection with his family. The child’s desire to defend his opinion strengthens personal boundaries, so he needs to be given such an opportunity. If, for various reasons, it is not possible to put his point of view into practice, he needs to be given an understanding that his opinion is valuable, that he has the right to express and defend it, whether his parents agree with him or not. A healthy inner conviction at this stage will be in the child such a phrase: “I can speak the truth that I see.” This sentence is a good example of firm but flexible boundaries. It reflects integrity and honesty. On the basis of it, opinions can be formed, defended, and, when new information appears, change. Stage 7. the right, on the one hand, to be a full member of the group without being special, on the other hand, to be able to act, shine and compete/structure of solidarity and expression (6-12 years)Early: Equal with everyone. The child identifies with the group and tries to ensure that everyone is on the same level and no one stands out. Late: Competitive. The child competes with others for better position or results, and sometimes competes with himself. Healthy: Balance of Self and group. A child can express himself, help other children express themselves, or he can simply relax and do neither one nor the other. At this age, a child learns to establish deep close contact with both adults and peers. He learns to negotiate the rules of the game and acceptable behavior with other people, and he makes several best friends. While in the previous stage of the Opinion structure, being a member of a group meant knowing the rules and following them, at this age the emphasis is on similarity with others/superiority. What is more important is the overall activity of the group or how good the child himself is in any activity. The very activity of the group becomes a means of competition. Other important aspects of this period of establishing connections with the group are loyalty, fidelity and solidarity. The experience of successfully growing a group later becomes the basis for creating good teamwork in any community, from organizational management to hunting organizations. The process of establishing group relationships includes close physical contact - wrestling, horse riding, games of pushing and pulling, lying down and just talking about the structure of the world. The most popular games for this age place an emphasis on maintaining balance. In interpersonal relationships, the child solves the same complex problems of establishing a balance between loyalty to others and self-preservation. If a child feels that he is being punished and may be expelled from the group, if he stands out and does something better than others, and “on the contrary” he is accepted and praised for his “below average” successes and support