An important point in separation is to allow the child to become disappointed in his parents. Not all parents are ready to question their authority. Only stable ones can withstand uncertainty in relationships with children, with their spouse, without pouring out their experiences on them. To do this, you should track your growing up.1 Free yourself from your own illusions and expectations: relationships with loved ones will not make up for what was missing in childhood. At the same time, recognize your needs, voice them to your loved ones and accept that not all of their needs can or will be satisfied.2 If you are lucky enough to live in a normal host family, this does not mean that there were no restrictions. Your current family will not be a reflection of your parent's. If only because you and your partner are different from your parents, your children are of a different generation.3 Learn to go beyond the boundaries of parental relationships. As a rule, they are codependent: one for all and all for one. It is not customary to be different, to refuse, or, in general, to be a separate person. In such families it is not customary to communicate with people of the opposite sex; the family lives “together”. Children leaving such a family create the same merger scenario, limiting their development and understanding of their potential. A parent who has gone through his own separation and is ready to let his children go would look like this: - he knows that his own feelings and emotions may differ from the members of the family in which he grew up, and is calm about this, - he accepts his childhood history, and living through feelings of guilt and resentment towards his own parents, he goes on with his life - he does not need recognition and approval of his choices, he decides for himself what is valuable to him. Such a parent is quite resistant to criticism, he has a clear idea of ​​his strengths and weaknesses, and criticism does not unsettle him. A parent can then be considered an adult when he does not look back to his elderly parents in anticipation of support and approval. He looks forward to his children and with his resilience is an example of self-sufficiency for his growing child.