Grandfather Freud was sure that the choice of a future life partner is made under the influence of attraction to a parent of the opposite sex. A young man chooses a girl who looks like his mother, a girl chooses a young man who looks like his father. Look around. Do you see much evidence of this? Not all pundits agreed with the generally recognized guru. Later, at least six theories were put forward that describe the mechanism of choice. You probably have no idea who to thank for the well-known expression “opposites attract.” A certain R. Winch, having studied only 25 couples, derived the theory of complementary needs. Its name speaks for itself. Is it so? I think that each of you is surrounded by about 25 familiar families. What do you think? Do you support this theory? The name of R. Centers appears on the list of theories for choosing a marriage partner. The gentleman also believes that the basis is a desire to satisfy needs, but he believes that the needs of partners should be similar, or understandable to each other. Next in history is a certain B. Murstein. He put forward a theory, quite realistic, in the author’s opinion, that in a couple it is possible to determine the pros and cons, assets and liabilities of each partner, and see whether the equality of resource exchange between partners is sufficiently ensured. If the balance of exchange is positive, then people think about creating a marriage. This theory pays a lot of attention to the stage when partners discuss each other’s life values. If they find out that they don't have enough similar views, then they break up. A viable theory, isn't it? A. Kerkhoff and K. Davis in their theory present many filters through which, in their opinion, people successively pass their partners, with each filter narrowing the choice. The first filter was stated by the comrades - place of residence, the second - social criteria, then values, role compatibility expectations. Much of this, of course, can still be discussed today with clients who are in the active search stage. “The Circular Theory of Love” by A. Reis speaks of the importance of the following aspects: Ease of communication. How “at ease” do people feel when spending time together, how similar are their communication characteristics, how comfortable are they with each other? Self-disclosure. The extent to which people develop trust in each other, the extent to which they can relax and open up to their partner. The formation of mutual dependence. Gradually, a man and a woman develop and develop a system of interconnected habits, a feeling of need for each other appears. Realization of the basic needs of the individual, which, according to A. Reis, are the needs for love, trust, stimulation by someone of her ambitions, etc. Development of a feeling of love goes in the direction from the first process to the fourth. Of course, missing one of them has a negative impact on the development or stability of love relationships. I’ll pause at this interesting point. And someday next time I’ll return to the theories of marriage choice) All these gentlemen are curious, and the theories are quite viable, it’s just how intricately they are intertwined in each specific case, in each specific couple... It’s interesting to understand the practical component of these theories. I remembered the fairy tale “ Thumbelina." – What should we do, wealthy moles? – Shouldn’t we count the money??))