I am not a supporter of such approaches as “be wiser”, “be above your grievances”, “grievances are childish behavior”. I am against labeling feelings. I prefer a research position. If I feel it, then there is a reason for it. This is not a very popular position, because research requires time, effort and contact with unpleasant sensations, emotions, thoughts. It is much more practical to put “Be wiser” between yourself and your experiences and it’s in the bag. On the contrary, the more we dismiss ourselves and postpone the analysis of our feelings, the stronger this resentment becomes. The energy contained in your experiences will still look for a way out. Usually this way out occurs in the form of detachment, vulnerability, irritability. As they say, they exchanged an awl for soap. If a research position is close to you and you are ready to figure out what you are offended by in a relationship, where the sore spot is, what damage is caused, then the following exercise will help you understand yourself more and your feelings for your partner. And therefore, build a meaningful dialogue with him, where you will speak from the heart and not slide into hysteria or irritation. Empty chair technique. Classic Gestalt exercise. You sit in front of an empty chair, imagining your partner on it, and then start a conversation, express your grievances, feelings, perhaps ask questions. It is important not to just pour out emotions, but to think about their origin. 1. “I feel very hurt/hurt that you...”2. “It hurts me how you acted/acted...”3. “I can’t forget how you behaved in that situation...”4. “When you said what you said, it touched me deeply...”5. “I need you to understand how this makes me feel...” The purpose of this exercise is to explore your thoughts, emotions and relationships through mental visualization and dialogue. Write in the comments your insights or difficulties you encountered. Contact me for support if there are too many feelings and they are not yet digestible for you.