How to ride your own tiger? The reason for writing this article was the topic stated by a guest at the forum about how to cope with your anger and aggression. Is it always necessary to fight negative emotions of this kind by exerting an effort of will, or can one learn to manage them without suppressing them and displacing them into somatic manifestations (that is, in the long term, into illness of the body)? The term aggression has many meanings in the modern world. For example, M.I. Enikeev in the Psychological Encyclopedic Dictionary (Moscow, 2010) defines aggression as “destructive behavior that harms the objects of aggression...”. He writes that there is a distinction between physical aggression (inflicting physical damage) and verbal (expression of negative feelings through the form and content of verbal reactions: screaming, screeching, threats, curses, swearing). There is direct aggression (directly directed against any object or subject), indirect (malicious gossip, gossip, etc.), impulsive and undirected aggression (outbursts of anger, rage, manifested in intense emotional-expressive actions), instrumental (as a means of achieving a goal) and auto-aggression (self-accusation, self-humiliation, suicide). Ethologists view aggression as an evolutionarily evolved, instinctive type of reaction of living beings to specific situations and stimuli (K. Lorenz). According to Adler, aggression is, first of all, an external expression of the motive of power. Aggression can also be seen as a typical reaction to frustration (not being able to get what you want). In social learning theory, aggression is considered an action learned through observation and imitation of the actions of other people, as well as through positive reinforcement of aggressive behavior (A. Bandura et al.). Aggressive behavior is one of the forms of response to various unfavorable physical and mental life situations that cause stress, frustration and similar conditions. Aggressive actions can act as: a means of achieving some significant goal (as mentioned above, this is instrumental aggression); a way of psychological release (a means of emotional release); 3. a way to satisfy the need for self-affirmation (motive of power, according to Adler). According to L. Berkowitz, in order for aggressive behavior to arise and spread to a specific object, two conditions are necessary: ​​1. an obstacle that arises in the path of purposeful activity would cause a reaction of anger in a person; 2. another person would be perceived as the cause of the obstacle. Since anger (anger) often underlies aggressive behavior, we should understand this emotion in more detail. As N. Linde writes: “Anger is a defensive emotional reaction that encourages an individual to overcome the forces opposing him in order to fight back or harm someone, attack someone...” (“Psychological Consulting”, 2011, P. 161) . In life-threatening situations, such an emotional reaction mobilizes the body's resources and helps to overcome the danger or obstacle. Anger becomes a problem in cases where it is clearly excessive (“it hits sparrows with a cannon”) or inadequate (“the situation is “not worth a damn” or “makes an elephant out of a molehill”). Thus, some people consider anger the only and universal means of solving problems. For such a life credo, they get a lot of trouble, especially when they try to solve their internal problem in this way (for example, to assert themselves, achieve a goal that is significant for themselves, or simply to discharge emotionally, etc.). Ordinary and completely healthy people sometimes suffer from excess anger, not knowing how to cope with it. They commit aggressive actions, which will be discussed laterThey regret, spoil their mood and others’, and sometimes even their lives. You can offer a person safe ways to express anger: 1. Physical activity. Hit a punching bag, work out on a gym, take an active walk in nature, etc. 2. Brainstorming. Offer at the moment of the onset of an attack of anger, or during the “beating” of a punching bag, or while walking, etc. think: “What ideas do I have to find a compromise solution in this situation? Why am I so angry now? What do I want? Can I achieve this in another way without anger and aggression? That is, to do a kind of “brainstorming”, which during physical activity, and even at the moment when you are just starting to get angry, can be very effective. 3. Game. A person is invited to learn not to “harass himself” with anger and not to fight it, but to learn to turn his anger into a game. For example, try to mentally look at yourself from the outside when you are angry. But do not condemn yourself at the same time, but, on the contrary, praise yourself in a playful and good-natured manner: “How brave and strong I am! If I use this power for peaceful purposes, then wow, what mountains I can move!” Feel the pride and pleasure of how you direct your strength to good, useful deeds, praise yourself again! Another exercise-game for managing your anger is offered by psychologist I. Vagin in his book “The Psychology of Evil” (St. Petersburg: Peter, 2001). The game “for taming” anger is called “Ride your own tiger.” The essence of this exercise is to imagine your anger as a tiger on which you are sitting astride. Mentally direct the energy and strength of the rider and the tiger to where you lack it in life: health, self-confidence, solving creative and any other problems. In this sense, both anger and aggression can act as a channel of creative energy, which should be used for good deeds according to one’s abilities and discretion. 4. Techniques in EOT. We can say that the creative transformation of anger and aggression also occurs in sessions of emotional-imaginative therapy (EOT) by N. Linde. In this case, the transformation of anger into other (positive or neutral) emotional manifestations occurs through the client’s work with his own subconscious (its images) under the supervision and guidance of a psychologist. Let me give here, as an example of such work, a case from my practice, which illustrates a model called “Anger as a means of protecting the weak part of the personality.” Case from practice. The woman (let's call her Polina) experienced anger, irritation, and dissatisfaction when forced to communicate with her nephew's drunken company, which gathered daily near her country house and spewed curses at the owner of the house. During an EOT session, the client felt something “like a burning sensation, a tickle” in her throat. The image of this sensation looked like a red, burning fire (a typical image that often symbolizes anger in EOT). It turned out that this “fire” affected the image of a small light heart located in the area of ​​Polina’s chest. This second image precisely symbolized that weak part of the woman’s personality, which was protected by her anger in the image of fire. Next, the so-called “energitization” technique was used, or strengthening the weak part of the personality. During the session, Polina gave a lot of energy for the growth and development of her “little bright heart.” Gradually, in the process of work, the small heart began to turn into a large, voluminous luminous heart. Meanwhile, the image of the fire became smaller and smaller and turned into smoke, which dissipated in space. Polina feltcalm, confident, safe - a pleasant warmth and relaxation was felt in the body. In a situational check, she calmly reacted to the company of her nephew (imagined in the imagination), and said that there were no more unpleasant sensations in her body, and she now had no anger or indignation. When, in real life, Polina again found herself in her critical situation, she calmly walked past her nephew’s company, not reacting either externally or internally to their insults. She felt confident, free - now these curses did not hurt her. According to the theory of the EOT method, an aggressor can only hurt us if there is some kind of weak point in us (that same weak part of the personality that needs our protection, love , support). All attacks of the aggressor are directed only at this “weak” place in the personality. When, in the case described above, the client strengthened and supported her weak part of her personality, she no longer needed anger for protection. In this situation, the conflict was resolved thanks to the work of the EOT method. In emotional-imaginative therapy, there are other techniques for working with anger: releasing negative emotions using an imaginary sound; conversion of the energy of a negative emotion into a positive one, etc. All these techniques are described in detail in the works of the author of the EOT method, Nikolai Linde. Good techniques for the prevention of aggressive behavior and conflicts are various relaxation methods (we will not dwell on them here, since this is a separate big topic), as well as the so-called “I-messages”, which can be used by anyone not only in communicating with adults, but also with children. “I-message” is a way of regulating one’s own emotional state, because in its process, the energy of the emotional-affective plane is transferred to the rational, verbal-communicative plane. At the same time, instead of blaming another person - “You-messages”, a person talks about his feelings that he experiences in a specific situation. For example, he says: “I am worried (upset, etc.) that now you are not listening to me carefully” instead of: “You never listen to me!” According to research data described by R. Baron, D. Richardson (2001 ), a fairly effective way to prevent aggression is also the induction of incompatible reactions, that is, reactions incompatible with anger or open aggression. Similar reactions and a subsequent weakening of open aggression can arise, for example, as a result of viewing humorous materials, comics, etc. Such techniques can significantly reduce conflict, for example, in industrial, office settings, etc. In such a situation, an effective means of inducing incompatible reactions can be a modest but unexpected gift, unobtrusive, sincere praise (for example, telling a person that you admire his intelligence, beauty, perseverance or other qualities). You can also try to imagine your offender or opponent who annoys you in the form of a funny image, for example, a clown or something else that makes you smile. And in a situation where your foot is stepped on in public transport, you can instead imagine an elephant, which is clumsy and does not fit in a china shop. You wouldn’t get angry at a clown (or another funny image for you) that makes you laugh, or at an elephant that was born that way? Thus, summarizing the above, we can say that there are certain ways to prevent and correct aggression. These include, in particular: 1. Safe ways to express anger through reacting: hitting a punching bag, hitting a pillow, tearing paper, giving yourself physical activity in any form. 2. Ways to work with anger using “brainstorming”: awareness of why I am angry at the moment.