I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link



















Original text

The phenomenon of competition in relationships is a common phenomenon, and it occurs in both friendships and romantic or even family relationships. It also happens that a person avoids relationships because of fear of competition or specifically chooses those partners with whom he will definitely not compete - who are obviously better or worse than himself, or from other areas of activity. In this case, fear of competition is its reverse form, an inversion, because a person knows in advance about his tendency to compete, assumes its negative impact on relationships and strives to build relationships in such a way as to avoid competition. On the one hand, competition in relationships sets their dynamics and spurs motivation. If it is difficult for a person to organize and motivate himself, the appearance of someone nearby whom he could focus on encourages him to actively strive for success and work on himself. On the other hand, the theme of competition is closely related to the theme of power, and, according to Jung, power and love are hardly compatible with each other. Competition with a loved one impoverishes our experience of intimacy, sows distrust in relationships, and distances us from someone who could support us. Sometimes competition in relationships manifests itself in open, and sometimes in invisible and suppressed forms. It is not always easy to admit envy of a close friend or partner, the desire to become equal to him or even better than him in some way. In relationships, there is often an unspoken taboo on competition, because it is customary to rejoice at the successes of a loved one, and not to envy them. But in some cases, the feeling of envy outweighs, and the feeling of inferiority against the background of someone who seems more successful turns out to be corrosive. When faced with competition in a relationship, it is first of all important to try to deal with projections. Is your friend or partner successful in the areas in which the competitor would like to be successful? Isn't envy a projection of one's resourceful, but not appropriated, part onto a loved one? When, how and why did the situation of comparing oneself with another arise, what were the reasons and grounds for this? In some cases, you can openly discuss the problem of competition with a loved one. Perhaps these relationships are reciprocal, in which case they are tied to common or complementary patterns. And then it is important how both parties experience this competition, whether they are able to benefit from it, turn it into a constructive direction, or, rather, feel that competition is destroying their relationship. Competition in relationships is also closely related to a person’s narcissistic expectations of himself and satisfaction with the implementation of these expectations. If a person expects too much from himself, places high demands on himself and cannot meet them, this topic is extremely charged for him. And then, in relationships with others, he automatically pays attention to how things are going with them on a topic that is difficult for him. For example, in the case where a person’s main goal is to earn as much money as possible, he may involuntarily become interested in or show increased attention to how much his friends earn, and be hurt when they exceed him in income level, feel inferior to their background. In some cases, competition in relationships is associated with a feeling of inferiority and protection from intimacy. So, when a person feels that he is unworthy of love and respect, he begins to doubt who is showing these feelings towards him, and to look for something for which he could be loved, not believing in the selflessness and unconditional sympathy of another person. And then a logical question arises - how did it happen that I was loved and appreciated by a person who is much better, smarter, more successful? In this case, external indicators and values ​​come to the fore, but the internal side of relationships is ignored - how deep and genuine interaction occurs between people, regardless of their social status or success. Competition in loved ones]