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Each of us has a tendency, firstly, to think about what an ideal husband should be like or what an ideal wife should be like: appearance, skills, habits, behavior and much more, and , secondly, to remake each other so that the husband or wife corresponds to the image that we have imagined for ourselves. Once at one of the courses we were studying this feature, and one participant suddenly said: “Let me tell my story, otherwise I’ll burst with impatience... Even before the wedding, I really didn’t like some aspects of my husband! And when we got married, I started redoing it. At first it was very difficult: he didn’t want to change at all, but then he gave in and now he has become just like a woman and I feel very good and so easy to live with him!” Hearing these words, I looked at her husband and saw humiliation, shame and disappointment in his eyes. Do not turn your relationship into a scheme or a program, they will no longer be unpredictable, interesting and free, but the most important thing in them will be true love. Because you love not a real person as he is, but the ideal into which you are trying to drive him. And love only to the extent that the other person corresponds to the ideal. Discover your husband and your wife and immerse yourself in them.