Conflicts are an integral part of life, because people look at the same events and things differently and give them different meanings. The consequence of conflict situations is often resentment, bitterness, mutual claims, enmity, disappointment, even complete cessation of relationships. In a conflict, you can endlessly win or lose, but in order to resolve it, sooner or later you will have to come to an agreement. And the one who wants to resolve the conflict is wiser, because he looks into the future. Of course, everyone knows perfectly well the typology of conflicts, the factors that cause them, methods of resolution, and it is easy to give recommendations when you do not face it personally, your personal ones are not affected interests. But coping with your problems, establishing relationships with loved ones yourself, sometimes becomes an impossible task. In order to avoid conflicts, it is necessary for all people to be absolutely the same: they thought the same, felt the same, had the same personal characteristics, upbringing, education , value system. Is it possible? After all, a conflict is a collision of oppositely directed interests, goals, positions, opinions, views. And if a person views conflict only as a negative phenomenon, then he does not understand that it is not the conflict itself that is terrible, but the inability to properly manage the opportunities that it provides us. After all, conflict also has a creative power: it can contribute to a safe and even constructive outlet for emotions, it can unite like-minded people, form and affirm certain values, train the ability to clearly formulate one’s thoughts and opinions, defend them, become more confident and stronger. Let's try to imagine a figurative diagram of the emergence of a conflict. Each person has his own ideal idea of ​​himself, of how everything should be arranged in the world, of how relationships with loved ones and colleagues should be built. And we want our relationships with loved ones to be exactly the way we are we present them. For example, this is the “ideal house”. But other people are living people who may not act according to our rules. They also have their own ideas, assembled into a different structure, having a different shape and size. It turns out that we are persistently trying to build that “ideal home” in our relationship. Yes, we imagine how wonderful everything will be, but it turns out completely different. We worry, we suffer, we make claims. And other people do not understand us and begin to conflict with us. All this is inevitable until we understand that another person is a Different Person. He has different views, habits, other (or differently perceived) positive qualities and shortcomings. And if we want to establish real internal contact with it, we must study it, understand it and not try to adjust it to our imaginary, invented model. That is, to clarify what kind of relationship we can have with this person, taking into account who he is. If we try to display this in an image, it turns out that we are creating a structure that reflects the uniqueness of our loved one. And this design is not at all like our “ideal home”. Thus, if we want there to be fewer conflicts and them to be resolved, then instead of adjusting the other person to our own standard, we need to try to understand what he is like, who he really is, and then there will be an option for a positive relationship. Specific steps to overcome conflict situations we will consider in the next publication. I wish you constructive conflict resolution!