Each of us encounters during our lives people who have been diagnosed with cancer. And such events are often accompanied by difficult experiences, which are sometimes worse than the illness or death itself. In this article you will learn how to maintain your emotional well-being in unfortunate circumstances. How do we feel next to a sick person? Often the suffering of loved ones causes us pain and gives us a feeling of meaninglessness what's happening. We may think that we should take care of the patient, but because of our worries we do not feel the strength to do so. I want to isolate myself from everything that is happening, not see or know anything. Emotions are overwhelming, and we cannot say important words, although we understand that there may not be a chance to talk in the future. How to help yourself? Man is an amazing creature. He has a mind with which he can make himself stronger or weaker in the face of adversity. Our thoughts form an attitude towards a situation, which determines how we will feel. This means that with the help of useful rational thoughts, we can form a rational attitude towards adversity. And this will help you support yourself and protect yourself from serious emotional suffering. Of course, in a situation where a loved one is ill, it will not be possible to experience positive or neutral emotions. Most likely you will experience negative emotions. And that's okay. But it is important to understand one nuance: are you currently in the grip of healthy negative emotions or unhealthy ones? Healthy negative emotions such as upset, worry, regret or sadness help you do what the situation calls you to do. If this is what you experience, you don’t need to change anything about yourself. Just let these emotions do the necessary work within you. You need them to cope with the situation and move towards your goals. Unhealthy negative emotions make it difficult to achieve your goals. If you are in the grip of unhealthy emotions, you may not be able to provide support or interact normally with someone who is sick. Such emotions include depression, despondency, despair, fear, anxiety or even panic. If you are mired in unhealthy emotions, then it makes sense to work on it. Learn more about healthy and unhealthy negative emotions in this video. Usually in consultations I ask the client the question “How are you causing yourself additional suffering in the current situation?” The answer to this question helps to find the causes of suffering . The point is that situations themselves, even unfortunate ones, cannot cause us emotional suffering. They begin when we are faced with something we are not ready to accept. This is why we make the choice to “not accept reality.” As if this would protect us and help us in some way. We become demanding, catastrophizing, and convince ourselves that we cannot bear what is happening.1. But how will the belief that your loved one should not have gotten sick help you?2. What is the benefit of thinking that cancer is terrible?3. Does it make you feel better to think that if a loved one dies, it will be unbearable? We ourselves create suffering within ourselves thanks to our irrational beliefs. It shouldn't be... Terrible... Unbearable... All of these beliefs increase the degree of negative emotions. And if you want to cope with adversity and limit yourself to a healthy negative reaction to problems, then you will have to make your beliefs more rational. Rational beliefs that heal suffering. 1. Of course, I would like my loved one not to get sick, but it does not follow from this that this is the only way it should be. I don't know the future. In people's lives there can be both preferred and non-preferred events. In reality, there is no law that would give us a guarantee of a long and happy life. I have no reason to be demanding of fate. And I should be accepting of what is happening. And acceptance will help me breathe a sigh of relief and begin to act more productively, achieving my goals.2. If a man.