How does passive aggression interfere with good people? Ira had problems with her husband. She was upset that her husband could not understand how important it was for Ira to be together on vacation at the seaside. When he referred to work and argued why he couldn’t be there, she endured it. But inside everything was clenched with resentment. Ira did not express this out loud - after all, her husband’s arguments were completely logical. And yet, Ira believed that he should understand her desires and do something. But nothing changed. Passive aggression is when a person experiences unpleasant emotions in contact with other people and does not speak about it directly. He doesn’t voice what doesn’t suit him and what he would like for himself in this situation. At the same time, there is often a belief that the other should guess and do a good deed for him. The second interlocutor does not even realize that there are any problems in the contact. How can this interfere in life? Let’s consider the 2 levels on which this behavior affects.1️⃣ Psychological, when a person cannot tell his interlocutor about his feelings and desires. In his opinion, this is so obvious. A person expects that the other will somehow figure it out and do everything that needs to be done in the best possible way. It doesn't happen that way. We are different. This mental defense was formed in childhood. Perhaps there were beliefs in the family that showing anger is bad and they were passed on. Or behavior was encouraged in which a person tolerates and does not stick his neck out. Perhaps it was not customary for the family to talk about their “wants”. 2️⃣ Physiological. For a normal quality of life and health, it is important that the hormones cortisol, norepinephrine and dopamine are produced. It is in this sequence. When there is chronic unexpressed aggression that acts on hormones, norepinephrine changes to adrenaline. Psychosomatic diseases arise. For example, Ira had frequent headaches. Friends, aggression is dangerous primarily for the person himself who restrains it. Passive aggression depresses both the psyche and the body. But the worst thing is that a person transfers responsibility for himself and his needs to another. And this “other” will never be able to satisfy these needs. Galina Martynyuk, psychosomatologist, doctor and scenario psychologist, WhatsApp 89164041162